Love & Relationship

How to Get Bigger Breasts With No Surgery

2009-09-23T08:17:00.000-07:00

By Rebecca Perry
Breast size and weight are two issues women struggle with the most. Society has placed a great deal of emphasis on outward appearance. Differences in body types make us who we are. Some women feel uncomfortable with their weight or their bust size and that is perfectly natural. Confidence is a quality that makes us who we are. Many men say a confident woman is a sexy woman. When a woman isn't comfortable with her body, she doesn't display that air of confidence that attracts potential partners. Herbal remedies, hormone therapy and surgery are the three most popular ways to increase breast size and fullness.
Weight and Breast Size
Because of the amount of fatty tissue in the breast, when a woman loses weight she also loses some fullness in her bust. The opposite is generally true for a woman who gains weight. Unfortunately weight gain isn't the healthy way to increase bust size, and it doesn't always work as planned. Some women request hormone therapy as a more natural form of breast enhancement. Hormone levels have a great impact on breast size, shape and fullness. Hormone therapy often has other undesirable side effects that make it a less viable.
Surgical Breast Enhancement
Surgical enhancement is considered major surgery and should be considered very carefully. It is not covered by most major insurances because it is not considered a necessary surgery. Complications include infection, rupture and loss of sensation. About 16 percent of women who undergo surgery report complications. Of that 16 percent, 1 percent requires additional surgery to repair issues caused by the initial enhancement.
Natural Breast Enhancement
Sometimes surgery simply isn't the answer. Many women choose to use natural remedies in pill or cream form. Certain herbs have proven effective in their ability to increase the size and firmness of the breast. Used with consistency, herbal remedies provide very positive results. Herbs such as fenugreek are rich in substances that aid in the development of mammary glands. Fennel seed contains flavonoids that help repair and stimulate new tissue growth.
Other herbs such as black cohosh produce results similar to drugs used in hormone replacement therapy. Herbal remedies rarely produce harmful side effects. Even though they're considered a healthy alternative medicine, check with your doctor before using herbs to self treat. Always read the instructions printed on the bottle carefully. Even herbs run the risk of overdose, although it is a small risk.
Benefits of Natural Breast Enhancement
Unlike surgery, which is permanent whether good or bad, herbal enhancers are all natural and completely in your control. They allow you to control how many cup sizes you increase. Stop treatment when you feel you've reached the size you're comfortable with. Resume treatment at any time if you decide you want more fullness or even another cup size.
Remember, a confident woman is a sexy woman. When a woman looks and feels her best, she soars above the rest. The added benefits of herbal remedies allow a full-body transition, not just larger, fuller breasts. The results are permanent and newly formed tissue does not go away when you stop taking the supplement.
In addition to enhancing the size, shape and fullness of the breast, herbal remedies provide many more health benefits. Other benefits may include improved thyroid function, hormonal balancing, fewer menstrual problems and improved hair and nail growth. The overall benefits of natural breast enhancement as opposed to surgery are phenomenal.

Foods to Make Your Breasts Grow Bigger

2009-09-23T08:15:00.000-07:00

By Jenny Bolton
Getting bigger breasts is a big wish for many women, but there's been a "mystery" surrounding it for many years. The reality is that making your breasts grow bigger is actually a lot easier than you might think. It's all to do with a hormone that every woman has in her body, and the foods that make that hormone grow your breasts for you...
The reason why some women have big breasts and some have small breasts is all down to a hormone inside us called Estrogen, and getting more of this hormone is the key to making your breasts grow bigger. You see, Estrogen is a natural hormone which gives us all our womanly features. It's the single most important factor in a woman's body, which makes us develop breasts and have a menstrual cycle, etc.
The reason why I'm talking about Estrogen is because it's this hormone which decides how much our breasts grow. In lamens terms, it's like a "magic formula" which tells your brain to grow boobs when you are 13 and to stop growing them when you're 15-18. But unfortunately for many women, Estrogen told your brain to stop growing your breasts before they were as big as you would like... meaning that they now seem to be underdeveloped or small.
Fixing this is actually very simple. After puberty stopped your breasts growing, it just left enough Estrogen to keep your breasts the same size for the rest of your adult life. To make your breasts grow again, you simply need to eat the foods which are going to introduce a lot more estrogen into your body, telling your brain to make your breasts start growing again.
Luckily, Estrogen is a naturally occurring substance, which is present in many foods. Soy-based foods, herbs such as sage and rosemary, and even fruits such as oranges, contain enough natural Estrogen to make your breasts grow up to 1-2 cup sizes. However, you can't just eat all these foods and hope your boobs will grow. You need to eat them in a certain amount each day in order for there to be no unwanted side effects.

Foods to Make Your Breasts Grow Bigger

2009-09-17T05:39:00.000-07:00

How to Get Bigger Breasts With No Surgery

2009-09-17T05:38:00.000-07:00

By Rebecca Perry

Breast size and weight are two issues women struggle with the most. Society has placed a great deal of emphasis on outward appearance. Differences in body types make us who we are. Some women feel uncomfortable with their weight or their bust size and that is perfectly natural. Confidence is a quality that makes us who we are. Many men say a confident woman is a sexy woman. When a woman isn't comfortable with her body, she doesn't display that air of confidence that attracts potential partners. Herbal remedies, hormone therapy and surgery are the three most popular ways to increase breast size and fullness.
Weight and Breast Size
Because of the amount of fatty tissue in the breast, when a woman loses weight she also loses some fullness in her bust. The opposite is generally true for a woman who gains weight. Unfortunately weight gain isn't the healthy way to increase bust size, and it doesn't always work as planned. Some women request hormone therapy as a more natural form of breast enhancement. Hormone levels have a great impact on breast size, shape and fullness. Hormone therapy often has other undesirable side effects that make it a less viable.
Surgical Breast Enhancement
Surgical enhancement is considered major surgery and should be considered very carefully. It is not covered by most major insurances because it is not considered a necessary surgery. Complications include infection, rupture and loss of sensation. About 16 percent of women who undergo surgery report complications. Of that 16 percent, 1 percent requires additional surgery to repair issues caused by the initial enhancement.
Natural Breast Enhancement
Sometimes surgery simply isn't the answer. Many women choose to use natural remedies in pill or cream form. Certain herbs have proven effective in their ability to increase the size and firmness of the breast. Used with consistency, herbal remedies provide very positive results. Herbs such as fenugreek are rich in substances that aid in the development of mammary glands. Fennel seed contains flavonoids that help repair and stimulate new tissue growth.
Other herbs such as black cohosh produce results similar to drugs used in hormone replacement therapy. Herbal remedies rarely produce harmful side effects. Even though they're considered a healthy alternative medicine, check with your doctor before using herbs to self treat. Always read the instructions printed on the bottle carefully. Even herbs run the risk of overdose, although it is a small risk.
Benefits of Natural Breast Enhancement
Unlike surgery, which is permanent whether good or bad, herbal enhancers are all natural and completely in your control. They allow you to control how many cup sizes you increase. Stop treatment when you feel you've reached the size you're comfortable with. Resume treatment at any time if you decide you want more fullness or even another cup size.
Remember, a confident woman is a sexy woman. When a woman looks and feels her best, she soars above the rest. The added benefits of herbal remedies allow a full-body transition, not just larger, fuller breasts. The results are permanent and newly formed tissue does not go away when you stop taking the supplement.
In addition to enhancing the size, shape and fullness of the breast, herbal remedies provide many more health benefits. Other benefits may include improved thyroid function, hormonal balancing, fewer menstrual problems and improved hair and nail growth. The overall benefits of natural breast enhancement as opposed to surgery are phenomenal.

How To Forgive Someone Who Has Hurt You

2009-09-15T04:07:00.000-07:00

By Dr Kim.

A few days ago, I was flipping through an Oprah magazine that my wife borrowed from our public library when I came across a short piece on forgiveness by playwright and actor Tyler Perry.
Here's the part that I felt a strong connection to:
My father was a carpenter. He used his hands to pour concrete and hammer nails. He also used his hands to beat me.
I was a tall child, but sickly—I had asthma—and when I went to work with him, the sawdust made me cough. I preferred staying home, writing and drawing. I conjured up other worlds: worlds in which I didn't worry about being poor, in which I was someone else's child, a child who lived in a mansion and had a dog. My father—a man with a third-grade education who was orphaned at 2 and sent to work in the fields at 5—understood only the physical. He thought he could beat the softness out of me and make me hard like him.
When I was 21, I left my house in New Orleans and headed to Atlanta to be a playwright. I got a day job as a bill collector and scrimped and saved to put on my play I Know I've Been Changed— a musical about recovering from an abusive childhood. But even though I was writing about recovering, I wasn't doing it. Every day I felt angry and bitter and terribly lonely. I rarely dated, and if a woman told me she loved me, I headed for the door. My play bombed; 30 people came on opening weekend. I put it on the next year and the year after that, and each time, it bombed again. Finally, 28 years old, out of money and months behind on my rent, I started sleeping in my car. When the car broke down, I asked my father to cosign on a new one, as he had just done for my sister (the light-skinned sister he adored). When he refused, I forged his signature. And when the car got repossessed, he called me, yelling. Sitting in that little room I'd just scraped together enough money to rent, listening to him berate me, something snapped. Something dormant in me woke up, and I began to yell back.
I told him that he'd hated me since I was born, that I didn't deserve the things he'd done to me. Everything I'd ever felt or thought—even things I hadn't been aware of—came out. When I was done, the line was silent for a long time. And then, for the first time ever, my father said, "I love you."
After we hung up, I felt light, empty, and exhausted. I knew that I would never again look at my father in hurt or anger. But in a strange way, I also sensed that something had died. I sat crying for hours, as if I were in mourning. My energy source, my fight, the rage that had moved me every day—it was all gone.
Slowly but surely, I began to fuel my days with joy instead of fury. That year—call it coincidence, call it karma—my play sold out. Then it sold out again, and then again. I began to write new plays, and the theme of forgiveness runs through them all. It's simple: When you haven't forgiven those who've hurt you, you turn your back against your future. When you do forgive, you start walking forward.
I can't get over how powerful his last statement is:
When you haven't forgiven those who've hurt you, you turn your back against your future. When you do forgive, you start walking forward.
I understand and agree with the idea that forgiving others is more about your peace of mind then it is about their feelings. You don't have to make it known to those who have hurt you that you have forgiven them.
The issue is learning how to transcend the hurt, how to get to a place in your heart and mind where the hurt is no longer holding you back from fully caring for others and allowing yourself to be cared for by others.
Is it possible to truly forgive all transgressions?
How do you forgive someone who physically abused you when you were a child?
How do you forgive someone who raped you or a family member?
How do you forgive someone who spread vicious and humiliating lies about you?
How do you forgive parents who put their own needs and egos way ahead of your basic emotional needs as a child?
How do you forgive a parent who left you when you were young?
How do you forgive someone who has sucked the joy out of your life through his or her negative, hypocritical, phony, lazy, selfish, and ill-tempered behavior through decades of marriage?
Maybe complete forgiveness is impossible in some cases. Maybe hurt that you have encountered is so bad that you will suffer to some degree until you pass on because you will always be angry at the people who hurt you.
If you are determined to find a way to free yourself of the burden of chronic anger, no matter how badly you have been hurt, there is one powerful and effective exercise that I can recommend.
It's to sit or lie in a quiet place and imagine your tormentors as they were when they were babies or young children. Visualize these people one at a time, and really take time to feel the realities of their lives as toddlers.
Babies are not born with a distinct desire to hurt others physically or emotionally. They are born craving love and protection. Visualize what your tormentors were like when they did nothing but crave love and protection.
If you work at realizing how pure and innocent your tormentors once were, you may come to a point where it becomes clear that their hurtful acts as older children or adults likely stem from their own wounds.
If you know of another effective way of bringing yourself to forgive people who have hurt you badly, I would appreciate you sharing in the comments section below. Your thoughts on this topic may make a significant difference in another person's life.

Thoughts on Forgiving Someone Who Has Hurt You, by Myra Bailes

2009-09-15T04:02:00.000-07:00

By Myra Bailes

I definitely agree that forgiveness is often more about freeing oneself from limiting, painful emotions than it is about releasing the person who hurt you from responsibility for their actions.
Many times the people who hurt others are so unconscious of their own inner processes that they will continue to behave in the same or similar ways throughout their lives. They are simply too damaged and too ignorant to be able to do what it takes to recover and become sane, caring human beings.
What I have experienced also, is that most people have so many layers and characteristics, some of which may all tend in the same direction, while others seem to work at cross purposes. The same person who actually does love and respect and care about you may also harbor tremendous anger, condescension, frustration, etc., and they may at times believe that you are responsible for their unpleasant emotions, and treat you accordingly.
Since you are also a human being with many layers and characteristics, your own inner fears and conflicts and unpleasant emotions may indeed have triggered their reactions toward you. While I would hesitate to say that all this emotional pain and confusion and unconsciousness is "normal," it is certainly so common that probably almost everyone experiences it at least to some degree.
So, what are the keys to unraveling this stuff so that we can all free ourselves from past trauma? I believe there are:
1. Commitment. Realize that you are important enough to deserve to recover and be free to give and receive affection and respect. Respect the pain and the power it has to teach you about yourself, about others, about life. And commit to not giving up to despair.
Commit to inner honesty, commit to continue working to free yourself, to open yourself to life.
2. Listen to what your dreams are trying to tell you. Your organism constantly seeks to heal itself on all levels.
Sometimes your dreams may speak of your anxiety, your grief. Contemplate the dream images on an emotional level and feel compassion toward yourself. Other times your dreams may show you a tremendous beauty, love, peace, joy. This type of dream indicates that you do indeed still have all of this inside of you, trying to manifest in your life. Acknowledge this message by consciously assisting your inner joy, love, peace, and beauty to find active expression in your waking life.
3. Forgive yourself and don't get caught up in remorse. Feel it, but don't be attached to it. Remorse should be your loving teacher--no matter how painful the memories--but not your slavemaster or torturer. By and by, as you learn to forgive yourself, the forgiveness towards others--and towards the hardships of life in general--will also develop.
4. Don't expect "perfection." Forgiveness usually isn't an all-or-nothing, once-and-forever phenomenon. The only real perfection lies in transcendence, in universal consciousness, toward which each being, through the power of life itself, unceasingly attempts to move. Every time an inner barrier dissolves, rejoice and breathe! You have passed a milestone, but the journey is not over!
5. Try to understand the personality and emotional components of your relationships with other people.
Learn to be your own emotional detective. Your feelings can be valuable clues, both to your own inner self as well as to the personality and emotions of other people. Understood in this light, your relationships can teach you many valuable lessons.
Sometimes the lesson might be, "I need to understand, love, and respect myself more". Other times it might be, "This is a person with whom I should not be in a close relationship."
Respect your intuition and understanding and act accordingly, focusing on taking the best possible care of yourself--not on negative emotions or actions towards the other person.
6. Don't be in a hurry. If you tend to "fall in love at first sight" and then soon find that Mr. or Ms. Right isn't so right after all, even might be someone who is going to hurt you a lot, consciously try to slow it down! Why are you in such a big hurry? Is it because you are so desperate for affection that you are forgetting to first find out if this person is actually worthy of a close relationship with you?
Respect your need for affection first of all by respecting your right to personal safety and well-being. If you love and respect yourself, you will know more about what to look for in others, and more apt to find relationships with people who truly love and respect you. So don't be in a hurry. Take your time, be observant, and choose your friends and "significant others" carefully and consciously.
7. Sometimes a sense of humor can come to the rescue! I know people who gush at me when they see me. These same people, however, do nothing to create or maintain a friendship with me. They never call me, never invite me to their house, do not return my phone calls or respond to my e-mails. Yes, I've felt angry at them sometimes. I resent their apparent shallowness. But hey, there's nothing that says I have to build my emotional satisfaction around these people! If that's how they are or how they want to be, who am I to try to change them? Essentially they are harmless, they are not out there killing and maiming, cheating and stealing; they are just a little flighty and insincere. They've just wounded my vanity a little bit. Big deal! And then I laugh at the absurdity of it all. It's like the James Thurber cartoon where it shows a zillion people all rushing to and fro along a busy street going past a cemetery. The only text is "Destinations." So I just appreciate myself a bit, and giggle. In the end, we're all going to the same place anyway!

Do You Hate The Way You Look?

2009-09-15T03:56:00.000-07:00

By Dr Kim.

In March of 2006, I received the following letter from someone who consulted with me for a skin condition:

Dear Dr. Kim,
I wondered if you would have any advice because I'm having a very hard time emotionally. I'm having a problem with low self esteem and self confidence, mainly because of my (health condition).
I don't have any friends or acquaintances (in my local area), and I've had a huge problem with loneliness over the past year.
I feel too embarrassed to meet other young people because of the (health condition), and I feel my emotional state has taken a large toll on me. It seems like a catch 22 situation.
I would appreciate any thoughts or suggestions you have on this.
Best wishes,Jessica
Because I have received letters like Jessica's over the years from people of both genders, all ages, and a variety of ethnic backgrounds, I thought it might be helpful to share some of the thoughts that I included in my reply to Jessica.
If you've been reading our site for a while, you may know that I came to do the work that I do now because of my own health challenges as a 19-year old.
Due to a variety of stressors that I faced at that time, I developed a skin condition called vitiligo. Over a period of 3-4 years, I lost approximately 25 percent of my skin color in patches on my face and body.
This condition affected every part of my life. I thought that no one would hire me as a chiropractor because of the way that I looked. I was depressed because I couldn't play tennis, baseball, and basketball for hours at a time like I used to without getting sun burned. I was sure that no one would ever want to marry me.
For about two years, I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror. I showered, brushed my teeth, and washed my face in the bathroom with the lights off. Such was the extent to which I had come to loathe my scars.
I'd like to tell you that there was one magical moment when it all turned around for me. The truth is that it took many years to overcome my low self esteem and addiction to self pity.
There were a number of thoughts and events that encouraged me to see my physical appearance differently.
At one point, I realized that the person who made the most of my physical appearance was me. When I made it a big issue in my own mind, it seemed to become more of an issue to those around me. When I went about my life without obsessing over my appearance, it clearly became less of an issue to people I interacted with.
Sure, there were a few people here and there who clearly indicated that they didn't want anything to do with me because of my unique physical appearance, but for the most part, almost everyone I met and interacted with didn't even bring it up. Some even made me feel like they didn't notice it at all.
Another important epiphany occurred when a friend asked me to consider how I would want my own future child to go about his or her life if they faced the same circumstances that I faced. In recognizing that I would not want low self esteem over physical appearance to hinder my own child's life in any way, I was inspired to begin the practice of living my own life in a way that resembled how I wished my own child's life would turn out.
It took me until I was about the age of 26 or 27 to feel relatively free of the self pity that I allowed to plague me since I developed vitiligo.
And since that time, I've come to realize repeatedly that my experiences with vitiligo and low self esteem over my physical appearance are among the greatest gifts that I have ever received.
Because of my experiences, I can truly relate to clients who have a health challenge that involves anxiety about their physical appearance. If I didn't have the experience of not being able to turn the lights on in the bathroom, I believe that I would have less capacity to understand and help some of these people. To focus solely on dietary choices when a person can't even look into a mirror without a visceral reaction is not likely to lead to a positive, long term outcome.
My vitiligo also gives me the ability to quickly identify people who place more importance on a person's character than on a person's looks. When my wife knew that she wanted to marry me when she was 25-years old, I knew that I had found someone who recognized my spirit. I didn't need a handsome face, fancy clothes, a stuffed wallet, a flashy sports car, or a 5,000 square foot home to have her want to marry me.
Without my vitiligo, I doubt that I would have gotten interested in leading the healthy lifestyle that my family does now.
I could share many more blessings that have come about because of the skin condition that caused years of sadness, but hopefully, my point is clear.
If you suffer with anxiety about your physical appearance, I hope that you will take some time to consider the many ways in which your current and past suffering can lead to a bright and meaningful life. As Shakespeare wrote, "...there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so."
It's difficult to change the way that you feel about yourself in just a few days. But I hope that you are inspired to think about your appearance and life in a way that you would want your own child to think about his or her own situation.

How To Forgive Someone Who Has Hurt You

2009-09-11T08:36:00.000-07:00

By Dr Ben Kim

A few days ago, I was flipping through an Oprah magazine that my wife borrowed from our public library when I came across a short piece on forgiveness by playwright and actor Tyler Perry.
Here's the part that I felt a strong connection to:
My father was a carpenter. He used his hands to pour concrete and hammer nails. He also used his hands to beat me.
I was a tall child, but sickly—I had asthma—and when I went to work with him, the sawdust made me cough. I preferred staying home, writing and drawing. I conjured up other worlds: worlds in which I didn't worry about being poor, in which I was someone else's child, a child who lived in a mansion and had a dog. My father—a man with a third-grade education who was orphaned at 2 and sent to work in the fields at 5—understood only the physical. He thought he could beat the softness out of me and make me hard like him.
When I was 21, I left my house in New Orleans and headed to Atlanta to be a playwright. I got a day job as a bill collector and scrimped and saved to put on my play I Know I've Been Changed— a musical about recovering from an abusive childhood. But even though I was writing about recovering, I wasn't doing it. Every day I felt angry and bitter and terribly lonely. I rarely dated, and if a woman told me she loved me, I headed for the door. My play bombed; 30 people came on opening weekend. I put it on the next year and the year after that, and each time, it bombed again. Finally, 28 years old, out of money and months behind on my rent, I started sleeping in my car. When the car broke down, I asked my father to cosign on a new one, as he had just done for my sister (the light-skinned sister he adored). When he refused, I forged his signature. And when the car got repossessed, he called me, yelling. Sitting in that little room I'd just scraped together enough money to rent, listening to him berate me, something snapped. Something dormant in me woke up, and I began to yell back.
I told him that he'd hated me since I was born, that I didn't deserve the things he'd done to me. Everything I'd ever felt or thought—even things I hadn't been aware of—came out. When I was done, the line was silent for a long time. And then, for the first time ever, my father said, "I love you."
After we hung up, I felt light, empty, and exhausted. I knew that I would never again look at my father in hurt or anger. But in a strange way, I also sensed that something had died. I sat crying for hours, as if I were in mourning. My energy source, my fight, the rage that had moved me every day—it was all gone.
Slowly but surely, I began to fuel my days with joy instead of fury. That year—call it coincidence, call it karma—my play sold out. Then it sold out again, and then again. I began to write new plays, and the theme of forgiveness runs through them all. It's simple: When you haven't forgiven those who've hurt you, you turn your back against your future. When you do forgive, you start walking forward.
I can't get over how powerful his last statement is:
When you haven't forgiven those who've hurt you, you turn your back against your future. When you do forgive, you start walking forward.
I understand and agree with the idea that forgiving others is more about your peace of mind then it is about their feelings. You don't have to make it known to those who have hurt you that you have forgiven them.
The issue is learning how to transcend the hurt, how to get to a place in your heart and mind where the hurt is no longer holding you back from fully caring for others and allowing yourself to be cared for by others.
Is it possible to truly forgive all transgressions?
How do you forgive someone who physically abused you when you were a child?
How do you forgive someone who raped you or a family member?
How do you forgive someone who spread vicious and humiliating lies about you?
How do you forgive parents who put their own needs and egos way ahead of your basic emotional needs as a child?
How do you forgive a parent who left you when you were young?
How do you forgive someone who has sucked the joy out of your life through his or her negative, hypocritical, phony, lazy, selfish, and ill-tempered behavior through decades of marriage?
Maybe complete forgiveness is impossible in some cases. Maybe hurt that you have encountered is so bad that you will suffer to some degree until you pass on because you will always be angry at the people who hurt you.
If you are determined to find a way to free yourself of the burden of chronic anger, no matter how badly you have been hurt, there is one powerful and effective exercise that I can recommend.
It's to sit or lie in a quiet place and imagine your tormentors as they were when they were babies or young children. Visualize these people one at a time, and really take time to feel the realities of their lives as toddlers.
Babies are not born with a distinct desire to hurt others physically or emotionally. They are born craving love and protection. Visualize what your tormentors were like when they did nothing but crave love and protection.
If you work at realizing how pure and innocent your tormentors once were, you may come to a point where it becomes clear that their hurtful acts as older children or adults likely stem from their own wounds.If you know of another effective way of bringing yourself to forgive people who have hurt you badly, I would appreciate you sharing in the comments section below. Your thoughts on this topic may make a significant difference in another person's life.

Perfect Valentine's Day Gift Ideas For the Special Woman

2009-09-11T08:31:00.000-07:00

By Connor R Sullivan

Valentine's Day is the time of the year when many couple celebrates their love and affection towards each other through spending quality time with each other, having a romantic dinner together and exchanging gifts. Males usually get confused as to what they should give their female partners on Valentine's Day. No one can ever go wrong with the idea of giving jewelry as gift especially on a day which symbolizes love, care and affection. There are many options to choose from when it comes to purchasing jewelry as gifts. Unique pieces such as Artisan jewelry and Sundance jewelry would make perfect gifts. However, there is also option of enjoying the current trend of jewelry gift ideas such as those made of diamonds and set in platinum.
For those who can't afford diamond and platinum can consider buying cubic zirconia stones crafted in sterling silver. This will make a perfect gift for any women. Valentine's Day is a favorite day for proposals and it makes cubic zirconia rings a hot pick for the season. Similar to diamond engagement ring sets, there are cubic zirconia rings sets as well which has the look of a real large diamond and is much cheaper than the real diamond. There are few nice ways in which a Valentine's Day ring can be presented to the beloved one. A ribbon can be used to tie the ring onto it and further tying the ribbon to a teddy bear and a rose.
Cubic zirconia bangles and bracelets are also in fashion and they make great gifts. They can be presented by hanging over the neck of a wine bottle or placed on the wrist of the teddy bear. Further gift ideas include presenting a heart shaped pendant and a necklace. Hearts symbolizes love and this is what Valentine's Day is all about. Nothing can make a better gift than a heart which shows love. Heart pendants come in traditional style as well as the floating style.
Many women do not leave home without wearing a pair of nice earrings and this is the reason earrings are another popular gift idea for Valentine's Day. The various designs include stud types, hoop style and most terrific of all is the heart shaped earrings. Since eternity bands symbolize forever, they make a perfect gift for Valentine's Day. The continuous gems crafted on an eternity band tells the tale of no beginning no end and this is what most people feel about love and their feeling for each other. A better idea to present this gift is to tie to a ribbon and place it with roses in a chocolate box. The person receiving the gift will love this surprise.
To show love, care, affection and respect to someone special is a good thing. Valentine's Day is not just a day to please partners but it is a day to show how much love there is for each other. Combining love and care and all the feeling there is for the special woman with a lovely gift and presenting it on a special day such as Valentines Day is truly the best thing a person can ever do.

Top 10 Things That Can Turn a Girl Off

2009-09-07T03:09:00.000-07:00

By Mark J Hamilton

Girls are very sensitive beings and they can't help it if they have a long list of standards when it comes to the right guy they should be dating. Meeting a girl for the first time is the most critical time of the year. This is when they start to observe and get to know what kind of guy you are. No, they're not rude. They're just born that way. Here are a few things that can turn a girl off. Find out how many you have and do something about it. And I mean, now!

Being a slob. The cleanliness department is ruled by the female species. So make sure you wear clean clothes, brush your teeth, cut your nails and comb your hair. Hygiene is a must.
Drinking and smoking. Girls will eventually accept the fact that you have a vice, but don't drink binge or smoke yourself blind when they're around.

Hanging out with your buddies a lot. Sure, they're your friends but girls do find it annoying if you spend too much time with them, especially if you ditch her for the sake of your buddies.
Your obsession with Sports. Lucky you if she's a sports enthusiast. But really. Girls would rather talk of something else than discussing the current score board.

Talking about your ex. As long as she doesn't you about them it's completely unacceptable. Especially when she's now your girlfriend. Talking about other girls. It's a complete insult when you try to check out other girls in the presence of your date. It's downright rude so cut the crap.

Being jobless. Girls are looking for guys who are independent and can pay for their dates. If you're still living with your parents and jobless, then forget it.
Acting needy and desperate. Clingy guys? Nah!

Being insensitive. Sometimes, girls want you to read their minds. But you can't. The least you can do is be sensitive to detect that something's wrong.
Ignoring them. You don't want to be ignored. You know the feeling right? So show us a little attention. Better yet, give it all.

If you still think it's hard to impress the ladies, know more on the things that can turn a girl off and the things that turn her on by visiting my website for further details. Say goodbye to boring days and hello to an exciting dating and flirting days ahead! It's just one click away.

Religious Dating in the World Today

2009-09-07T03:07:00.000-07:00

By Billy Bob Bronson

Though many people would argue that caste, religion, and culture don't play a big part in the modern dating scene any longer, there are actually people who believe that these aspects are essential in their lives. In fact, one of the biggest issues and a major personal preference when choosing a partner is religion.
In the United States of America alone, for instance, religion (particularly Christianity), functions as a very big aspect in a person's life with a large percentage of the population considering themselves as Christians. And because of this, a lot of free religious dating sites have emerged to be able to cater singles who want partners who share the same religious views and beliefs as well.
Religious online dating sites are in a sense unique from the usual online dating services you see online since they focus an ample portion of their scope to the religion being promoted. For instance, free Christian dating sites focus their features, perks, and intentions towards pure Christian dating and to Christians who want to enjoy the fun of dating.
In truth, there are many people who take religious customs very seriously when choosing a partner, stating in their profiles that they would only communicate or entertain potential partners who share in the same religious views, practices, and beliefs as them.
Therefore, if you are the type of person who is very strict and conservative with regards to religious views, definitely religious dating would be the best online portal for you. There are many available online dating services that cater to devout religious singles such as yourself, so take the time to look through these sites online.

Dating Background Checks - Are They Really Necessary?

2009-09-07T03:05:00.000-07:00

By Deborah S Nelson

A wise and savvy person once coined the phrase, "All is Fair in Love and War," but had they glimpsed into the future of online dating, they would have seen both LOVE and WAR waged on the same battleground: the Internet.
The Wild West of the Internet has allowed matters of the heart to become fair game for dating scams, con artists, and Love Predators! The war they wage is to win access to your mental space, your home, your bank account, your precious time, your heart, and in the worst cases, your children's innocence. Today, every encounter with a virtual stranger could be putting you and your family at risk.
With 55% of online dating profiles being false, dating experts advise running back ground checks for online dating safety.
But how realistic is this? And WHEN do you run back ground checks? Before the first Starbucks date? How do you ask your date for their social security number? Should you run a background check just before physical intimacy? What if someone runs a background check on you? At what point are you so invested in the relationship that you really don't want to know?
What is Dating ID? It is the proactive solution for returning truth to the worldwide dating scene. Dating ID reduces risk and exposure to the love predators while providing entry to the Truthful Dating Community.
Dating ID is simple. It is voluntary and is updated annually. A background check is not voluntary and invades privacy, and is generally less accurate than verified information. With Dating ID, it's not necessary to ask for someone's SSN. Dating ID covers its holders for an entire year and can be used offline and online in any dating or social networking situation.

Background Checks - Everything You Need to Know About Your Future Spouse

2009-09-07T03:02:00.000-07:00

By Brian Prinz

What is so critical about conducting criminal background checks? You may have been acquainted with an individual for a substantial length of period, making you experience uneasiness when looking for the proverbial skeletons in their closet; so why do it?

But not all individual is sincerely trustworthy. Wouldn't you enjoy making sure the your neighbor is not a convicted criminal? Moreover, what if that criminal was also guilty of multiple assaults? Or what if that person is a registered sexual offender?

What are the proper steps necessary for you to obtain this background? Are you conscious that an individual's arrests, convictions, and time served in prison are all open information? Yes, this is a reality. As databases having these type of facts need to be taken care of just like any other files you may have to pay a small fee to find out, but you should not have any worry conducting a background search. Being safety-sensitive is more valuable as always,as well as there is no problems with getting your own individual confirmation.

Never take the risk that that this research has been done by somebody besides you. Moreover remember that not all criminal background checks are equal. There are a few that miss noteworthy information. Then some have only a little data and may only have information within certain states. You have to be informed of this!

When a total examination is made you will get the exact fine points of a individual's charges if you perform the background search on your own. If you are relying on somebody else to do the history search, could you feel safe even though the person who did the history examination was neglecting records you feel important.

Your well being is what it is all about. And your household wants you to keep them safe too. Do not permit possible important problems to be ignored. Take the time to be aware of who you are living and functioning around before something dangerous happens.

Female Orgasm Secrets

2009-09-04T08:56:00.000-07:00

By Bernice L

Women should be fully aware that there are quite a number of female orgasm secrets. The reason why a lot of women fail to achieve orgasm is because they fail to achieve intense arousal. It is for this reason that sex becomes uncomfortable, sometimes even painful and orgasm is never achieved. Men's arousal and orgasm differs significantly from that of a woman.

One of the best orgasm secrets a woman should understand is that foreplay is extremely important to set her in the mood and help her achieve optimum lubrication. As a woman, you should not allow your partner to just attack your vagina without proper stimulation. Women like it sweet and slow. Therefore, gentle caressing, teasing, touching of other parts other than the vagina is an excellent way to start the fire. Make your partner understand that sex is not all about the vagina. It is also about stimulating other parts of your body like your breasts, thighs, tummy and neck.

Learning the art of sex has a lot to do with a woman's arousal. Discover your erogenous zones. You and your partner should explore your body and together you can discover your pleasure zones. This is a helpful way for you to uncover other orgasm secrets. Watch sex videos together with your partner and read various sex references. This way, you will know where your most sensitive parts are located such as the G-spot. Play with your fingers and let your partner do the same. Be creative in bed with your hands. Touching can ignite the fire and unleash sexual desire you never thought ever existed.

When making love, learn how to satisfy each other without jumping into penetration. With the use of your hands, you can explore your bodies and discover powerful sensations. Adequate stimulation can lead to a series of orgasms. The best way to facilitate foreplay is through the use of all-natural Vigorelle cream. This is specially made to help women feel intense arousal with just a gentle touch. Virgorelle has a powerful formulation proven to help women achieve satisfaction in bed from foreplay all the way to a mind-blowing orgasm.

The Secret to Really Great Sex

2009-09-04T08:51:00.000-07:00

By David Shade

The Sad Truth About Sex Today
Here are some very sad and sobering truths about modern sexuality:
* 30% of ALL women have never had an orgasm in their life.
* 70% of women have NEVER had an orgasm during intercourse.
* Over half of all women have FAKED an orgasm.

Stop and take a moment to think about what this means.
If you are a man reading this, it means 50% of the women you have had sex with faked an orgasm. And if the other half were able to orgasm with you, it probably happened because they used their hands or a vibrator.

If you are a woman reading this it means there is a 1-in-3 chance you have never had an orgasm. And if you have been fortunate enough to experience an orgasm, it most likely wasn't from having sex with your man.

This is a sad reality about modern sexuality because ALL healthy women can have orgasms during sex!
Modern medicine wants to put the blame on women for these problems, and the bozos in the 'male enhancement' industry want you to think your 'size' is the problem. They are both feeding you a load of crap to make money.

All Of Us Are Sexual Creatures
All of us are born sexual creatures. (I realize this may come as a shock to many guys, to learn women are sexual too). Fact is, if we weren't sexual we would die off.
But no one is born knowing how to have Great Sex any more than you are born knowing how to walk. The good news is learning to have good sex is like learning how to walk, once you've got it, you won't have to think about it. You'll just do it.

Listen, any guy can figure out how to stick 'it' in and pump-n-dump. In fact this is what most guys do. It's also why 70% of women never orgasm during sex. Face it... if you want your woman to orgasm, you must understand what she needs. This is what I'm here for, to help you figure it out.

The Secret To Really Great Sex
You probably won't believe this once you see it, but it is the true secret to great sex with your woman. Do this, and she will do anything to make you happy, because no other man will have ever done this for her.

This is the secret to being a truly Masterful Lover. EVERYTHING I teach is based on this one secret.

Are you ready? Good, here it is...
Stop thinking about 'getting' sex from women. Instead focus on giving your woman Incredible Pleasure by giving her Really Good Sex.

In short... FOCUS ON THE WOMAN'S PLEASURE instead of your own. She will be so thrilled she will want you to feel just as much pleasure as you have given her.
Now, you might just have had to stop and let the power of this wash over you. Excellent! You have just taken a major step towards being the kind of lover women dream about.
When you love nothing more than to give a woman the most powerful long-lasting orgasm of her life... This will make you stand out like a great Dane in a room full of chihuahuas
( If you are thinking 'bull crap', there isn't much I can do to help you. You should probably click away now to one of the 3,150,000 websites on sexual positions or one of the 2,070,000 websites on male-enhancement.)

Everything You Need To Satisfy A Woman Is Already Within Her
There are so many men who only focus on their own needs when it comes to sex. You only have ask a woman or poke around online to know this is true.

Thing is, it's amazingly easy to stand out from these lame lovers by doing just this one simple thing... Focus On Her Pleasure.

If you have this as your mind-set, you'll easily figure out how to do this because you are now paying attention to everything she wants you to know about her body and what she likes. Everything you need to satisfy her is already inside her, and she WANTS you to discover it.

But you must Pay Attention!
This is the essence of what it means to be a Masterful Lover.
David Shade is internationally known for his No B.S. approach to sexuality, and as someone who had the courage to step outside the boundaries of conventional wisdom to find out what really works and works powerfully when it comes to giving women pleasure. Because of this David has improved the sex lives and relationships of tens of thousands of men, women and couples in 105 different countries.

David is the author of "The Secrets of Female Sexuality" (available at Amazon and Barnes & Noble) and has been a featured speaker on the topic of advanced sexuality and sexual pleasure at numerous conferences, written about in Men's Health and OUI Magazine, and a special guest on Playboy Radio and David DeAngelo's Interviews with Dating Gurus.

How to Prolong Orgasm, Increase Libido, and Last Longer in Bed

2009-09-04T08:50:00.000-07:00

By George Christodoulou

Let it out, it's ok for a man to cry you know, especially when you have been deluding yourself that you were a lion in bed but your woman dumped you because you couldn't last longer than 5 minutes! Come on man, I'm not dissing you. I'm just stating the fact and sympathizing with you!
Ok enough of this self pity trip now wipe your snot and get ready because I am going to give you a list of herbs and one particular exercise that will help increase your libido and last longer in bed for better satisfaction.
Herbs
Diet is very important when it comes to a man lasting longer in bed. If you take the right vitamins and proteins and other supplements that increase the flow of blood to your penis then rest assured you should be able to increase your prolonging capacity. Herbs like ginseng, horny goat weed, Cnidium, Tribulus Terrestris extracts are known to increase the flow of blood to your penis, enlarges the veins for such better flow and makes you prolong longer. These herbs are available on many herbal sex pills. Look for those because you wouldn't have to measure the right quantity to consume. But make sure that you look for the pills that have all these herbs.
Exercise
How you perform in bed also depends on how well you exercise your penile muscles. Shaking hands with the president is definitely not bad. Learn to masturbate in moderation. When you do masturbate, learn to control your orgasm. Take your hands away from you and start masturbating again after a while. Repeat this process and it will definitely train your body and your mind to have a greater stamina.
Try both these tips from day one and start them together you will definitely see the difference in a matter of few day.

Decade of Separation

2009-09-03T05:06:00.000-07:00

By Jimmy Dugan

The decade of separation seems to be your forties. Whether you are married or live together, it seems this decade scrambles our priorities. Or maybe I should say the priorities we used to have. Men and women alike change during this time period. But why? What happens?
People reach this age and look at life and what they have worked at, suffered with, accomplished, compromised at, and the list goes on and on. When they are done contemplating the trials and tribulations of life, for some reason, many find they are not happy. And I mean not happy enough, and to leave the relationship, no matter what the cost.
I have seen documentaries and have read on the subject, and it has been said that men and women both go through menopause. But at this age, most are still a tad too young for menopause yet. It's like a pre-menopause.
So what happens? The short answer is LIFE. Change is inevitable in life we all know. And that goes for our relationships too. We are human beings and we grow, and develop.
For men, which has been talked about for many years, you hear the stories about affairs, divorce for a younger woman, and buying the sports car. They may go further and get a tattoo, grow a beard, change their wardrobe, and the list goes on. Why does this happen? What happened to the man every knew? The quick answer is that people often say "he's going through a change of life".
As an older age approaches, they try and find the youth they lost. They are getting older and don't want to. But who does? Most have worked hard, provided for their family, raised kids, saved money for their college education, and spent very little time on themselves or their happiness. Their partnership or marriage seems to wain as the closeness they felt with their partner ends up as two people living together. Period.
Life is busy, and the times you spent together when falling in love, and those feelings seem to subside. Not that they are gone, but just not in the forefront any longer. Now that he is on the downside of life and virtually can see the end coming, they want to be happy, feel young, and enjoy life. And that's not easy as they start to put on weight, lose their hair, and have to start considering putting together a will, buying more life insurance, contemplating cemetery plots, and alike. It can be depressing.
Many go into a state of depression. Some seek help from a professional, some make a lot of mistakes that will inevitably change or ruin their lives or partnerships, some will snap out of it, and some will deal with it responsibly.
Their desire for their partner partner may change also. If the partner is a homemaker or a working person doesn't matter. As time passes, they partner may let themselves go physically. We tend to accept each other but to what degree? If the partner doesn't keep themselves dressed nicely, they let themselves go physically, are always tired, do not have the time for their partner, and the list goes on, what happens to their relationship?
People always talk about two people growing apart. We do change for sure, but as we change do we bring our partner along with us to be a part of our lives? Or is that even possible?
Women change also. In many of the same ways men do. And why not? A woman gets older and grows just like a man. Her thought on many things change too. They come into their own and become different people too. The thoughts of how their life turned out to this point can be unsettling for many. Their look at their partner putting on weight, losing their hair, not getting any love or attention, and feel like they are a maid, life coach, or both.
Hands down in most relationships a woman keeps everything together. A woman makes about eighty percent of the decisions for purchases in their home. They have a lot of responsibility and when arriving in their forties, they wonder about their happiness too. Women are very independent today, not like many years ago. For the most part they are not dependent on a man for their livelihood. They are who they are. And women have sexual desires like a man too. Especially in their forties, as many find their desires are stronger and they enjoy it even more. They take second looks at younger men and think...
Happiness is a desire of theirs too. Is their man coming through with love, attention, and gratitude? Well, maybe not so much. Is it done intentionally? I don't think so in either case. But it's called life. Life just happens.
In this decade of separation, a woman seems to become stronger then they ever were when they were younger. Some don't want to compromise any more if they feel their relationship isn't worth it. Many worked at home or at a job, raised their kids and their man, and now want the rest of their life for themselves. Can you blame them? And honestly, I think you will find that a woman doesn't need a man, but a man needs a woman you will find more then not.
So what will she do and why? Life just happens. And it seems this decade of separation of the forties is real and should be taken seriously. But by the time anyone see's a problem, life already happened.
When issue's arise, no matter how silly they may sound to you, they need to be addressed, verbalized, and taken seriously as you both grow. Forming a long lasting partnership does need work because of all the shit life throws at you as we grow and change.
You both need to MAKE time for each other. You make time for everything else in life, why not each other? But people don't usually. And then the decade of separation comes and you find yourselves in a terrible circumstance. A life altering circumstance!
The mind blowing passion that you feel for your partner when you meet doesn't stay forever. Those chemicals in your brain will tend to wear off but your deep love for that person, if you remember, is still there. But you have to nurture it. Should love be a job? I hope you don't look at it this way, but it does need to be worked on, for sure. Anything worth having, is worth working for, because love remembers.

Jimmy Dugan

How to Stop a Divorce - Ways You Can Stop a Divorce

2009-09-03T05:05:00.000-07:00

By Carolyn Anderson

If there are problems in a marriage that can no longer be resolved by the couple, one of them turns to divorce as a solution. If your spouse thinks about getting a divorce and you disagree with it, you can still slow down the process. But if you do that, you are only making it more painful. So instead of thinking on how to slow it down, why not just stop it?
But before thinking of ways on how to stop a divorce, think first if your marriage is worth saving in the first place. If you think it's worth the effort, then do something to work things out. Remember that saving a troubled marriage requires the cooperation of both parties involved. Both spouses should have the willingness to compromise on saving the relationship.
If you are looking for options on how to stop a divorce, you actually have quiet a few. One option is to do nothing. Doing nothing means staying in your unhappy marriage. This is your alternative if you think you can handle the disappointment of an unhappy relationship better than living with the pain and disruption of an expensive divorce. If you opt for this so-called parallel marriage, both of you can still live in the same house and have your own fulfilling lives even without enjoying a traditional happy marriage.
If you can't stand living with your spouse anymore but you don't want a divorce, you can consider trial separation. This setup will allow the spouse who is considering a divorce to experience the feeling of being separated without finally deciding to get one. But for it to work well, both of you should agree on an arrangement for this trial separation. The arrangement should involve talks on how will you handle your bank accounts, household bills and credit cards. This option is advantageous because it is easily reversible.
Another effective tip on how to stop a divorce is getting a marriage counseling. This can be of great help in saving a seriously troubled marriage. However, it can also be as painful as divorce. If done right, counseling has the real potential to save a rocky marriage. But it means big changes in how you deal with each other and with your relationship. Marriage counselors are already experienced in handling different marital problems so they are more knowledgeable in resolving your issues.
But if your spouse already filed a divorce and you want to stop it, request the court to either put the case on hold or postpone it. This will give you more time to work on convincing your spouse who filed the case to reconcile your differences. But if your spouse is ignoring your pleas on stopping the case and all your efforts have failed, it's about time for you to get a lawyer and settle things out in legal terms.
For other suggestions on how to stop a divorce, you may also consider some Internet sites that offer counseling services and other helpful resources for married couples. You can also join other organizations that can rekindle your marital vows and might possibly save your marriage

Heal Your Broken Heart - Win Back Your Ex Boyfriend

2009-09-03T05:02:00.000-07:00

By Mel M

Breaking up is indeed quite hard to accept. If you have just gone through a breakup you may still be feeling lonely and neck-deep in misery. You need to get over that breakup and move on. If you find that you are really still in love with your ex boyfriend and you want him back, here are some techniques which you can use to win back your ex.
Accept. To get over the breakup you have to accept that it has happened. Look back and answer the question why it happened? When you are not able to accept the breakup, you will surely be whining and begging and you will be one pitiful sight to behold.
Look back. Assess your relationship and the things which have happened in the past. Look at the good times and the bad. Try to see whether your relationship is worth saving. If you are going to take the extra mile to ensure that you get back with your ex boyfriend, you have to make sure that your relationship is worth fighting for.
Decide. So you have decided that your relationship is worth saving. So you are now in the process of thinking how are you going to go about it? In order to answer this question, you have to answer numerous questions regarding your relationship and what happened that you eventually went separate ways. Questions such as what went wrong? Were you taking each other for granted? Is somebody overly controlling another? Did your relationship just died a natural death because both of you did not exert effort to keep the embers of love and romance burning?
Ask: Ask yourself whether you are ready to change and be a better half in the relationship? Are you willing to go the extra mile to work things out with your ex boyfriend?
Change: If you are willing to say yes to the questions that you have to ask yourself, then start now. Show your ex boyfriend that you are a changed person and that you are committed to starting anew.
Approach: With humility and sincerity, it is now the best time to talk to your ex boyfriend. Lay out everything on the table and try if you can talk through your differences. Don't call or text him. Oftentimes, patience will always reward you in the end.
Mel M
End your misery of having lost your girlfriend/ boyfriend. Proven and effective strategies you can start using today. How about a blueprint or a step by step guide which tells you exactly what to do .
If you truly want to get your ex back , go to this website now: How to get ex back It is the top resource on breakup advice and tips on getting your ex back courtesy of the leading relationship gurus.
We have searched the world over for the best resources to get your ex back . Want to know what went wrong along with unconventional techniques which are guaranteed to get your ex interested in you again and restore your relationship?

Signs of a Cheating Boyfriend

2009-09-01T05:37:00.000-07:00

By Meka Powers

If you are in a relationship, there is a chance you may have or currently suspect that your boyfriend is cheating on you. Unfortunately, cheating is something most couples have to face at some point or another. You can avoid the suspicion of infidelity by knowing the signs of a cheating boyfriend that way you can take action once it is discovered but hopefully the truth is the opposite of what you suspect. Here are a few of the signs of a cheating boyfriend.
1. Comes home late at night- He could be working overtime, got caught in heavy traffic, having other issues but if this becomes a habit, especially if he goes to shower first, then that is a fed flag.
2. Not Romantic/Lacks Affection- If your boyfriend started out showing you a lot of affection and doing romantic things and it has suddenly dwindled, this is a red flag. Of course there may be other reasons but chances are he is getting it somewhere else.
3. Tells excuses for not spending time with you- There have been many cases where the girlfriend wants to spend time with the boyfriend but he always makes up excuses and says he has other things to do. This is all too common and if it happens often, that is also a sign of cheating.
Of course there are many more signs that can raise a red flag that your boyfriend may be cheating on you. If you know these signs, you can stop the cheating dead in its track and handle the situation in your own way. Suspecting infidelity can be very stressful but if you know what to look for, you can make things a lot easier for you.

Working Through Relationship Problems

2009-09-01T05:33:00.000-07:00

By Christine King

What is a relationship problem? It could be anything, but sometimes we tend to label things incorrectly and this in itself becomes a problem. Are you a 'headliner'? Do you label things in such a way that the headline screams 'problem', when in fact it is nothing of the sort?
Far too many of us 'awfulize' about things until they appear to be far worse than they are. Sometimes this is because there is a very strong emotional element involved, but nevertheless, we allow it to grow in our minds until it is totally out of proportion. We then give the 'problem' a headline and it becomes set in stone.

How to deal with 'the problem' becomes a problem in itself because it has become entwined in distortion, confusion, muddle and exaggeration. It then takes a clear head and a great deal of patience to make sense of everything. This takes huge amounts of time and effort - and guess what? It could have all been avoided if we had been able to control our awfulising.
The best way of dealing with awfulising is to start to recognize when it starts to happen. If you can train yourself to do this you will be making a major breakthrough. Then you need to work through your thinking process and try and evaluate in a logical and unemotional way, how to find a positive solution. The emphasis is on positive. Ask yourself questions and you will soon be able to 'unwrap' the problem and get to the heart of the matter. This will give you clarity and the ability to find a solution.

A very simple example might be that a passing remark is made about the fact that you are overweight. You dwell on this. Overweight becomes fat, and then obese, and then ugly.... It goes on until you are so depressed and unhappy that it starts to have a bearing on your relationship.

If you think this through logically and ask yourself questions such as: "Have I put on weight?", "How I look is obviously important to my partner", "What could I do about it?", "Diets don't work - what else can I try?", "Perhaps I could try a vegetarian option", etc., you will be able to work it out and come to a sensible conclusion.

How to Make New Friends in a New City

2009-08-31T03:08:00.001-07:00

By Jonathan Boyd

Moving to a new city can be an exciting time - you've got a new home, perhaps a new job too, and now there are plenty of things you want to explore. But even in a city with millions, you might feel lonely if you haven't got any friends to share your new experiences with. The solution? Be proactive! Don't sit around your home and wait for people to find you...instead, follow these seven tips for finding good friends in a new city:
1. Get to know your neighbors. If you live in a community which hosts regular meetings or events, make an effort to be involved. Knowing people who live around you is always a help and makes your neighborhood a more social place.
2. Join a club or class relating to a subject or hobby that interests you, e.g., a dance class, hockey team or painting course. This helps you get out and meet people who share similar interests to you - a good starting point for any friendship.
3. Take part in a running club. Most cities organize groups who train together and all levels are welcome. It's one way to stay fit and you'll socialize by chatting as you run, too.
4. If you have a dog, take it out for a walk where other dog-owners in the area go. Popular dog walking areas are always great places to meet other dog-owners - it's hard not to admire each other's pets and swap pet-owning stories.
5. Volunteer to do something helpful. There are always places looking for help like soup kitchens or child-mentoring organizations. You'll benefit your community and are sure to come in contact with lots of people - especially like-minded ones who want to make a difference too.
6. Check your local newspaper for local events - there may be a new cafe opening or a new exhibition at the museum. Just because you haven't made any friends yet, it shouldn't be an excuse to stay indoors. The more you go out, the more likely you are to meet someone new...even if you don't, and at least you've been out and enjoyed yourself.
7. Make use of great websites for meeting people. They help you meet other people in your local area who also want to make friends, share interests, or network for business or social purposes. If you don't find a group you'd like to join, you could even use the site to start one yourself!
If you enjoyed this article, please feel free to post it to your site or blog and forward this link to your friends. Have a great day!

By Jonathan Boyd

What to Do When a Friend Betrays You

2009-08-31T03:07:00.001-07:00

By Kare Anderson

Last month two friends broke trust. One offered to do something vital, didn't and didn't tell me. Another shared private information about me with a stranger. I don't know which felt worse. I do know it's a sign to re-learn lessons. Remember when you felt betrayed?
"Trust is the glue that holds relationships together." ~ Price Pritchett
Recall that hot flush of recognition when you first realized that someone you knew would act one way and didn't? What to do? How not to become bitter or wary? Funny how one betrayal is closely followed by another wrenching experience -- or so it seems. Even if one's life is on a fairly even keel, one trust-breaker situation makes the second one hit harder- if we let it.
"Sometimes you cannot believe what you see; you have to believe what you feel. And if you are ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them, too -- even when you're in the dark. Even when you are falling.~ Morrie Schwartz, quoted in Tuesdays With Morrie by Mitch Albom.
My first reaction was to re-run the wrenching situation in my mind, over and over, digging a deeper rut in my memory. Dumb, right? Those scenes dominated my thoughts more than the recent, joyful times. Consequently I viewed others through a cautious, constricted-heart lens. That begets a self-fulfilling prophecy. People feel put off.
"No idea will work if people don't trust your intentions toward them." ~ Marcus Buckingham, Now, Discover Your Strengths
We've all faced mind-grabbing breaks of trust, and will again. Conversely, we have betrayed another's trust and dodged rather than rectified the situation.
"You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you don't trust enough." ~ Frank H. Crane
For more than a decade, I've studied, taught, and written about focusing attention on the positive parts of every interaction. Yet, like breathing, it isn't a one-time practice.
"Character is what you really are. Reputation is what people say you are. A person of character is trustworthy. The other kind looks for an easy way out." ~ John Wooden
Getting back to equilibrium means letting go of a better past. Every negative action comes from the root feeling of fear.
"Trust is the heartbeat of every significant relationship" ~ Cynthia L. Wall and Sue Patton Thoel
That does not mean we have to stand in the street and let the same car hit us again. The next time you lose trust, try taking these steps forward towards equanimity for yourself:
1. Let the full emotional effect of the betrayal sink in and don't re-run the scene more than three times.
2. Step into the other person's shoes to see the interaction their way. Is this a pattern in his behavior towards you or is it an anomaly?
3. Look to the part of that person's potentially positive intent, especially when he appeared to have none in that situation. You will see the whole picture more clearly and calmly.
4. Praise the part of that person's behavior you want to reinforce and to flourish. (Ironically, this is one of your most self-protective tools in such moments.)
5. Ask her for a time to talk. Then, in factual, non-blaming language, describe the specific behavior that bothered you. Next describe your feelings. Then wait for a response.
6. Listen closely and with an open heart and mind to the answer. If your picture of her actions was accurate, and if she is solely defensive -without offering a change in behavior, then you have learned a lot.
7. If someone breaks trust with you twice it is highly likely there'll be a third time so why place yourself in that position? My friend, Paul Geffner says we gather many friends and acquaintances over our lifetime. The key to living well with them is to recognize the right distance in which to hold them. Those you enjoy and trust you bring closer.
Asking someone to change behavior after you have described its ill effects on you, will seldom lead to positive change. More likely it will engender defensiveness and avoidance. Unfortunately, the relative power in the situation (who needs whom the most) will determine how you two communicate in the future. But it doesn't have to determine the safe distance you choose to have with that person.
8. Choose your distance. You always have three choices in any situation: Change how you act towards that person, accept her behavior or leave (avoid future contact.)
"No idea will work if people don't trust your intentions toward them." ~ Marcus Buckingham, Now, Discover Your Strengths
The lesson: Sooner, rather than later, take these steps. Choose what you can do positively for yourself rather than against another. The more quickly you'll climb out of that negative "re-run" rut of thoughts and toward the positive part of that person, the more likely you'll return to an even keel - and the more likely you'll be able to preserve a properly distanced relationship.

Becoming Your Best Self - How to Be a Good Neighbor

2009-08-31T03:04:00.000-07:00

Be friendly, but not a pain in the butt. You don't want your neighbors to hide when they see you coming. Feel free to wave or smile, but read their response to your efforts to see how welcome your advances are. You also don't want to start out all Chatty Cathy if you like to keep a distance yourself. Once you've both passed the 'acquaintance line', there is no going back.

Return all their stuff quickly and in the same (or better) condition.Good neighbors allow nearby residents they trust to borrow tools or other implements. Whatever the tool is, the best way to maintain that trust is to bring the item back promptly and clean and ready to go. Your neighbor should never have to clean a tool you've borrowed.

Keep your pets on your property. While our neighbors are our neighbors, our pets are family. However, it's important to remember that not all people are pet people. And whether they enjoy or own pets themselves, your neighbors have no interest in cleaning up after your pets in their yard. Do whatever you need to do to keep your pets on your property.

Make sure your outside fits in with your neighbors' front yards. If every other yard is clean and spruce, you don't want to be the one with an overgrown lawn. While most people in our neighborhood keep their lawns trimmed, there is one person across the street who never seems to cut their grass. Trust me, most people spend time wishing she would move out and sell the house to someone with more house pride.

Be grateful for favors performed by your neighbors. Remember, they don't owe you or need to do it. Whatever favor they perform, they are doing it to be neighborly. So either return the favor in kind or surprise them with a gift certificate to a local eatery. You'll be glad you did when you ask them to do you another favor.

Mind your own business and respect their privacy. This is the number one rule to follow to be considered a good neighbor. No one likes a nosey Parker! Especially one that lives next door. Respect their privacy and they'll respect yours!

Keep sugar on hand for borrowing! (or at least a sugar substitute!)It's a time-honored tradition to borrow a cup of sugar. I have no idea where it originated, but there's no sense messing with history. I'd hate to have a neighbor come to the door with an empty cup and go away without their favorite sweetener!

10 Creative Ways to Bond a Friendship

2009-08-28T04:29:00.000-07:00

By Krystalina Soash

Male or female friendships are valuable and sometimes friendships can be taken for granted. Fortunately, there are some things you can do to bond that friendship. Following are just ten creative ways to do just that.
Ten Creative Ways to Bond a Friendship
1. Join a Social Group: It may be a reading, recreational, music, biking, hiking, or just a good clean fun group that doesn't give out homework.
2. Take a Class Together: Whether it's for academic or fun purposes it's great to take a class with a friend. You can compare notes and have fun doing it.
3. Do Volunteer Work: Offer to go as a team to help out at a reading group, helping kids with homework, bagging food at a food shelf, or shelving books at your local library.
4. Go to a Movie: Going to a movie together is a positive experience because you both see the movie at the same time and you can talk about it right after.
5. Take up a Hobby: Taking up a hobby together can be a lot of fun. Just remember not to turn your hobby into a job. Landscaping and gardening make fun hobbies.
6. Visit Someone in the Hospital: Walking in together to visit someone you both know can take off that uneasiness you may feel when walking into a hospital. Cheer somebody up.
7. Take Early Morning Walks: If you live within a short distance of each other, a morning walk on a nature trail can be very invigorating and bonding while your mind is still clear.
8. Share Your Goals: Sharing your goals with a friend is helpful because you are held accountable for your goals and can also bounce ideas regarding your goals.
9. Watch a Documentary: Watching a documentary together can be quite enlightening. You get to admit to each other what you didn't know about the topic. Learn together.
10. Visit the Zoo: Visiting the Zoo with a friend can be a fantastic way to enjoy a full day of learning new things about animals, besides, seeing new species with someone is fun.
The best part of doing these types of creative activities with your friend, is that years down the road you will still be talking about what you did together and you'll be saying, "Remember when..." This is the greatest reward of bonding with a friend.

By Krystalina Soash

Turn Enemies Into Friends

2009-08-28T04:24:00.000-07:00

By David Z

Imagine all the enemies in your life converted to rewarding, lasting friendships, wouldn't that be something? How many more friends would you have? How would that change your outlook on life? Obviously, only positive outcomes could occur, but is it possible? You'll be surprised to find that not only is it possible, but easy and even fun! Here are some tips to convert your most despised enemies into long lasting friendships.
Discuss with them, things that neutral. Avoid topics that may lead to why you two aren't friends in the first place. Discuss things that don't contribute to a mutual hatred. Try to talk about things that they are good at. Complement them for what they have achieved. This conveys that there is little hostility felt by you. If you keep a respectful manor, no matter what happened in the past, your rival will do the same. But be sure not to be too nice or it will seem like you have no intention of becoming building a friendship, rather, simply condescending or teasing them.
Discuss something that is a shared passion between the two of you. (If you both like: pets, sports, etc.). Nothing will unite two people as a mutual passion for something will. There will always be something you two feel similarly about even if it doesn't seem like it.
Ask for their advice. Not only does this help with making enemies, friends, it can be used to make friends in general. Asking for advice from someone displays a deep sentiment of trust and respect for the recipient.
Make sure, when they are not around, you maintain the same level of respect you would if they were standing right next to you. Do not speak negatively about them to other people, try to avoid the topic of your enemy altogether but if forced, be sure to speak only positively. The worst thing that can happened when starting a new friendship is for them to hear your gossips, especially from others.
Treat them as you would any other friend, this means telling jokes, showing empathy, etc. Act normal. This will make them feel as though you two have been friends for a long time and will allow them to forget the differences in the past.
After they have become a relatively trusted and close friend, tell that you are sorry for what happened in the past and that you hope that you two could put it all behind. At this stage, they will likely follow suit. Create a productive friendship. Invite them over for a family gathering, a barbeque. Invite them to go camping. The possibilities are endless. By doing this, you are ensuring that the friendship endures for many years.
There you have it, you are now ready to convert your most hated enemies into your most trusted friends.
David is an avid article writer and has been working in IM world for many years.

By David Z

Can a Marriage Survive an Affair

2009-08-25T08:35:00.000-07:00

By Douglas Quinn

Sometimes couples find themselves asking each other "can our marriage survive an affair?" And that is a difficult question to answer. There are so many factors that are involved in determining if a marriage can work when an affair has caused waves within the marriage. It really depends on the couple and the circumstances that caused the affair. Did the husband go outside the marriage bed to look for a one night stand? Or did the wife start with holding sexual relations because of an illness or out of spite for her spouse. Or maybe the affair happened because the wife was weak, in mental anguish and was looking for something that her spouse could not provide her a warm shoulder to cry on.
When it comes down to the survival of a marriage, it does not matter if the action in question is an affair, financial woos or just plain discontent for each other. Every marriage can be repaired if both spouses are willing to start at square one and start rebuilding the marriage block by block.
Here are a few tips to help you rebuild your marriage
• Start communicating with each other. Sit down and start a conversation about the affair. Take turns talking by using an egg timer. If it is your turn to listen, do just that. Do not break in on the conversation to correct your spouse. Let them vent then you will get your turn after their 5 minutes is up. Keep the conversation smooth and calm. No finger pointing. Use this time to try to identify why the affair happened and how the both of you can make sure that it will never happen again.
• Forgive each other. This is the hardest part of the process, but it is the most important. How is your marriage going to be able to continue if there is no forgiveness? You can forgive without putting your trust on the table. Simply acknowledge that you understand why the affair happened and that you forgive your spouse. Your trust will need to be earned back slowly.
• Find the romance again. Now this can be the fun part of the process. Go out on dates and get to know each other again. Remember that you are both human and we all need some time to reconnect with our spouses. Work together to find that spark that the two of you once had for each other prior to your wedding day

By Douglas Quinn

Infidelity Signs - Learning the Signs of Infidelity

2009-08-25T08:33:00.000-07:00

By Travis S

Statistics showed that half or men's population who suspects that their partner is cheating is correct and almost 90% of women who recognize infidelity signs are right. Given these numbers, one can actually say that women are almost always right when they see signs of infidelity on their partners. If you are out looking for the signs, you can take a look below and see if it applies.
Seemingly endless business trips - The most common situation where infidelity occurs is when it presents itself. If you notice him having business trips almost every week and it seems to be endless, chances are this is already one of the infidelity signs you should be watching for.
Habitual absence from home - He always manages to find excuses to stay away from home. Late conferences, over time work, last minute meeting, seminars, etc. When this absence from home becomes a habit, there is a greater chance that he is cheating on you.
Everything becomes suddenly mysterious - His phone is off-limits. He has credit cards you absolutely know nothing about. He turns off computer as soon as he senses someone is coming. He doesn't let you hear when he is talking on his phone. These are simple things but are significant when learning the signs of infidelity.
Refusal to be picked up from airport - For any particular excuse he makes up, he refuses to let you pick him up from the airport even when it is the most convenient thing to do. Usually, the reason behind this is because he is actually not at the airport.
Different smell from his clothes - Have you ever done the laundry and smelled different smell from his clothes aside from his usual perfume? You can almost tell that it is one of the signs. In fact, it is one of the common signs.
It doesn't really matter how you read infidelity signs but whether you accept the truth or not, always remember that people can lie but numbers don't. If you think that almost 90% of all women who notices these signs are wrong, it is all up to you.
How do you discover signs of infidelity and catch a cheating spouse within seconds? There are efficient ways and methods you could learn in order for you to uncover the truth and reveal his secret. You can guarantee that the results are positive and certainly you do not want to close your door on this opportunity

By Travis S

How to Deal With Rude Neighbors

2009-08-21T02:27:00.000-07:00

By Adrienne Manson

Firstly use love. Always greet your neighbor with genuine love although their goal may be to be confrontational. Love does conquer all.
Long-Suffering. Learn to use long-suffering. Usually individuals who are difficult or rude comes from a seed of bitterness within, which they are refusing to deal with. You must be able to demonstrate long-suffering when living next to difficult neighbors.
Gentleness. Use gentleness during the moments when your rude neighbor gives you "the attitude". When they see your gentleness they will learn "the attitude" is not working for them. Faith. It is going to take your faith in action to believe there is a good person inside your rude neighbor. The faith you have is what they need in order to receive assistance in finding his/her way out of rudeness.
Peace. Having a spirit of peace radiating and exuding from your presence can be felt by those around you rude as well as kind-hearted neighbors. Having peace within you will be the most helpful resource when your neighbor is at his/her worst.
Lastly, being patient is the most important factor. Dealing with rude and/or difficult people is always a challenge. One thought to keep in mind is to know a rude person has either been hurt, and/or wronged by a close friend, and in some cases a family member. Rude individual tend to hold on to bitterness, and are resentful toward everyone. Whatever they say to you that is unkind never take it personally, in most cases it is the only way they know how to handle their hurt.
Patience will take you a long way, as the old saying goes patience is a virtue.

By Adrienne Manson

The Process and Barriers of Communication

2009-08-21T02:25:00.000-07:00

By Dawn Ardent

By Dawn Ardent

The process of communication
We often ignore the process of communication and focus only on the meaning of some of the words being carried. The process of communication can be simplified thus:
the speaker formulates his thoughts to himself
the speaker finds words to describe and encode his thoughts with
the speaker transfers the words to the listener through air by speaking
the listener recognizes and decodes the words
the listener assigns meanings to the words based on past experience Simple, isn't it? It is important to understand the process of communication, because communication can become distorted and erroneous at any of those steps. If the process of communication is repeated many times, the probability of errors is reduced - the speaker and the listener can achieve an accord of mutual understanding. Remember that communication is never complete or infallible, but can only be reliable to a satisfactory degree.
Barriers of communication
There are two main barriers of communication: unwillingness to communicate and inability to communicate.
If one of the participants is unwilling to communicate, it is obvious that communication will fail to be. Another, less obvious barrier of communication is when a participant is unwilling to understand, or worse yet, unwilling to tolerate emotionally. Such unwillingness often stems from subconscious fears.
Inability to communicate can be present because of obvious physical reasons (eg. you can't send an email if your internet connection is down). However, inability to communicate can also be present because the speaker does not understand his thoughts sufficiently or otherwise fails to formulate them into words. Such inability often stems from insufficient understanding of oneself.
There can be plenty of barriers of communication, and in case of a breakdown of communication analyzing the barriers can point to a helpful solution.

Spot an Abuser on Your First Date

2009-08-20T05:24:00.000-07:00

By Frances Elizabeth

In my book "Be Careful Who You Marry" I account the controlling and abusive nature of my ex-husband. The abuse began early on in our relationship. While I began to recount when the abuse started I noticed something very unusual. The control and abuse actually began on our first date. Here is what I observed:
1. Needy Behavior: My ex-husband exhibited needy behavior immediately. During our first date he told me he missed me. He didn't know me well enough to miss me. He actually began using such words before we went out on our first date. I thought to myself this guy isn't afraid to open up and tell me his feelings. What I didn't know is that abusers will use any means necessary to gain your trust so that he can have control over you even expressing a desperate need for relationship.
2. Jealousy: As we sat and waited for our server to take our order my-ex-husband noticed a nice looking gentleman coming up behind me. I watched him walk by our table. He was dressed very well. I admired this gentleman for his well-groomed appearance. My-husband then asked if that was the kind of guy I liked. I didn't entertain the question nor did I answer it. Shortly after the server came and took our order and my ex-husband mentioned that he saw him looking at me. I was flattered that I was being noticed, but pointing out that the server was looking at me should have been a red flag. My ex was a jealous person. As the relationship progressed his jealous actions - texting me or calling me to constantly locate my whereabouts, making me dress the way he wanted me to dress, or creating situations to make me feel guilty about going places by myself, was all disguised as concern. The concern was jealousy and control.
3. Quick Commitment: My ex-husband asked me the strangest question on our first date. He asked me to be his girlfriend. He wanted me to commit to him right away. A lot of his conversation during our first date was him expressing his love for me. He used words like "you are the only one for me, it's like at first site, you are the only one who I ever talked to like this." Abusers often pressure their victims into committing to a relationship and will make you feel guilty for not doing so. After I initially turned down his offer to commit to him right away, he continued to tell me how much he loved me and could see us getting married. After a week and a half of this sort of pressure disguised as confessing his love for me I gave in. It felt like love, I really did believe that he loved me. In hindsight it was his way of controlling me.
This article is based in my personal experience with abuse and when abuse began in my relationship with ex-husband. Not all abusers give themselves away on the first date, however I do believe that abuse can be recognized early in the relationship.

By Frances Elizabeth

When Love Leaves Scars

2009-08-20T05:23:00.000-07:00

By Steve L Myers

Part 1
The devil in my case never wore Prada but a tight red mini skirt. I was a restaurant manager when this woman walked into my establishment and for a brief moment it seemed as my world stopped for a moment. She was both beautiful and captivating. Once I learned she was there to apply for a job I was as happy as a child in a candy store.
Once she started working with me things in our relationship moved fast and swirled out of control in no time. Her cousin who also worked at the restaurant warned me to stay away stating her cousin had serious issues. Her mother was killed in her presence all over a guy. Within 60 days we were residing together and things were just about to get worse.
One night after having sex she asked me if I still love my wife who at the time I was separated from. When I replied with a yes and tried to explain that we had history and 3 children together. She simply went ballistic throwing a lamp and anything else that she could get her hands on. I was afraid and when I couldn't get things under control I called the police.
When the police arrived I did as most woman who are victims of domestic violence I simply lied. I sugar coated the scenario and the police left without knowing the true story. I knew she needed help and I was not going to be the one who turned his back on her. She needed help and I thought I could simply love her enough and everything would be okay.
She controlled every aspect of my life and I didn't know what to do. It wasn't long before before I couldn't call my children without getting into a fight. The police were at our apartment on a regular basis. I wanted out but there seemed to be no way to freedom. All thoughts of freedom would soon be erased when she walked in the restaurant and announced that she was pregnant. I lost my job when my boss called my home phone and heard a message that simply stated that we were both living together. If life wasn't already crazy now we were about to bring a child into this mess.

By Steve L Myers

My Man Won't Commit - What Should I Do?

2009-08-18T05:27:00.000-07:00

By Tina L. Jones

How come your man won't commit to you? Are you doing something wrong? Are you wondering if he's the right man for you after all? Commitment is such a big issue for women and yet such an important one - you don't want to waste time on a guy who has no intention of giving you the kind of relationship you're looking for. If your man won't commit, find out what you should do next.
You must understand that you can't force a guy to commit to you. If your man won't commit right now, try to understand why. Are you coming on too strong? Do you seem desperate to bag yourself a man and start having babies? Have you made it clear that you hate your job and want to be a kept woman? If you've answered yes then there's your problem right there!
The harder you push for commitment, the less likely you are to get it. If you have met the right guy and this is the right time, it won't be difficult to make that jump from just dating to an exclusive relationship. If it seems like a huge battle to you right now, then either the time isn't right, or the guy isn't the one for you.
If commitment is important to you then it is a good idea to discuss it. This way you can avoid wasting time on a man who has no intention of settling down in the next decade. Make sure you consider your own wants and needs here and not just his.
If he's not ready now, are you sure you want to hang around for a couple more years? He probably won't be ready then either, especially if he thinks he can put you off for a couple of years at a time and you'll still hang around. Consider whether he truly loves you or whether he's just using you. A lot of men will stay in a relationship they're not committed to simply because it's convenient. Don't waste the best years of your life on a guy like that.
Take him out somewhere that you can talk without being overheard and bring the subject up. Let him know that it is important to you, at this stage in your relationship, to know where he sees things going in the next year. Try not to be confrontational, this is not a war, you could be talking to your future husband here.
Make it clear to him that you love him and the life you have together and that you would like to take things to the next level to see how it works out. That's a reasonable request. If he gets freaked out by that, this guy will NEVER commit to you. If your man still won't commit after you've had a sensible, adult conversation, consider your own needs right now and be ready to move on if that's the best option.

By Tina L. Jones

3 Reasons Men Won't Settle Down With Women

2009-08-18T05:25:00.000-07:00

By Pila Fatukala

One of the many reasons women get mad at men is when men won't settle down with the women. There are men out there who always insist they are not made to be in a monogamous relationship and feel that they are destined to roam free until they are ready, not when women are ready. Often times this is really difficult for women to understand.
1. Not Enough Experimentation Many men will not settle down because they feel too young to do so. They feel they have not experienced everything they need to experience in life. Some of these experiences could be unmentioned sexual adventures and desires. Other experiences may be traveling the world. Men don't want to have the feeling that they missed out on opportunities because they settled down too early.
2. Feeling Insecurities About Themselves Men may have little insecurities about themselves preventing them from fully committing to women. They want to be able to achieve their goals and aspirations and see these things as must dos before they settle down. They want to be accomplished and successful and see settling down as an obstacle to achieving success in their lives. These men probably like women but want to have a firm foundation first before setting anything in stone.
3. Just Not Interested The last reason men won't settle down is simply because they're not interested. The connection which was there was lost or he has gotten tired of the situation. His mom may not like the woman or his friends are constantly on his case that the girlfriend is not the right one for him. The woman might not fit the mold of the person he thought he would end up with. Yet, another possibility is that he changed and the woman stayed the same. Whatever the reason may be, once the decision is made that the woman is not the one, it's over.

By Pila Fatukala

Long Distance Relationships Advice - Ways to Keep the Romance Alive From Afar

2009-08-18T05:24:00.001-07:00

By Emeka Ezidiegwu

Despite popular misconceptions, long distance relationships are not a product of the internet age. For generations, couples have been separated from each other for many reasons - college, the military and jobs are just a few examples. Over the years, couples separated from circumstances have learned how to keep their romance alive from afar. These days, thanks to the internet and unlimited cell phone plans, it's easier than ever to stay in touch with your sweetie when you're far apart.
1. Set expectations of your relationship. The Center for the Study of Long Distance Relationships identified one key factor in successful long distance relationships. The couples in those relationships that last more than six months have talked about their expectations of the relationship. How often will you see each other? How often will you talk? What is the future?
2. Communicate frequently. Communication is the cornerstone of any relationship, and it's far more important when you're far away from your sweetheart. Take advantage of as many different types of communication as you can - telephone, email, webcam, letters - even text messages.
3. Get a low-cost telephone solution. Long gone are the days when you have to run up hundreds in phone bills just to talk to your absent partner. Do some research to find the best phone service for your relationship. Some ideas: VOIP phone service, Skype or a cell phone provider with free in-network calling. When cost isn't a factor, you can talk all night long once in a while.
4. Webcam - the next best thing to being there. A cheap webcam can let you get closer than ever to being in the same room. Webcam chats are a good way to add a visual aspect to your communication when you're far apart.
5. Get creative with your "together" time. Just because you're in different cities doesn't mean that you can't do things together. Get creative. Make a weekly date to watch a movie or favorite TV show together - over the phone.
6. Establish rituals. Rituals help establish stability in a relationship. You may not be able to kiss good night each night, but a nightly "I love you" text message just before bedtime can be a substitute that establishes expectations and a shared reality.
7. Keep living your life. Don't just sit around between contacts with your honey. Get involved in things that are important to you. Not only does it give you less time to pine, but it will also provide interesting things to share with each other when you do have time to talk.
I hope that this long distance relationships advice helps. I know that it can't replace the emptiness that most long distance participants feel, but hopefully, it sheds some lights on what to do to make it work.
P.S, Enhance your relationship and sex life: learn how to ask delicate but romantic questions that will ignite the spark and set the right mood in your relationship any time; here's the mood setting questions, romance/relationship eBook that you should read.

By Emeka Ezidiegwu

Would Somebody Please Explain My Husband?

2009-08-17T05:09:00.000-07:00

By Ron R. Lee

A well-known Christian author and his wife once summed up their relationship in 13 words: "Put us together, and we add up to a fairly decent human being."
I enjoyed their self-deprecating sense of humor, and only later realized they were rephrasing a profound biblical truth: "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh" (Genesis 2:24).
When two people become one, they compensate for each other's deficiencies. If I were left to my own devices, for instance, I'd turn into the Tom Hanks character in Cast Away. But team me up with my wife, Jeanette, the Queen of Sociability, and I turn into a reasonably presentable human being.
While we husbands benefit greatly from being married, we often don't communicate it well. Women are into relational nuances—the meaning behind the meaning behind the meaning. Men basically wonder if there are any more mashed potatoes.
One night, Jeanette and I sat quietly, enjoying ourselves in the corner of a candle-lit restaurant. Then, out of nowhere, she looked into my eyes and said, "Let's talk about our relationship." It always makes me nervous when she says that.
Relationships are usually complex, and guys are pretty basic. A husband tends to think in concrete terms. Instead of pondering his marriage, he'll picture the woman he comes home to at night, the woman with whom he has children, the woman with whom he shares his bed. Call that a relationship if you want, but you'll just confuse your husband.
What else about your husband do you wish you understood? Let me toss out seven things that might help explain a few of your husband's odd behaviors.
1 A man does more talking—and listening—when he's unaware it's happening. Most guys don't overwhelm their wife with deep inner feelings! However, there's a way to get your husband to share what's going on inside. It involves talking to him the same way his buddies do—while doing something else. Men go fishing, watch a ball game, or help each other move a pool table down to the basement. And of course, they talk a lot while they're doing these things.
For Jeanette and me, all it took was building a wood rack together. I got out the lumber and power tools; Jeanette gathered the nails, screws, and tape measure. Amid the noise and sawdust, she told me she was struggling over whether we should make a long-distance road trip to visit her parents. I'd already told her I'd do whatever she decided, but Jeanette needed to talk out the options. While we built a rack to hold our firewood, we discussed the pros and cons. What else could I do? I had to hang around until we finished the wood rack.
Take it from me. If you start doing more stuff with your husband, you'll find he actually has a lot to say. And he'll listen a lot better, too.

By Ron R. Lee

Trace a Cell Phone Number - How to Nail a Cheating Spouse in Minutes

2009-08-17T05:01:00.001-07:00

By Lauren Warner

Are you suspicious of the faithfulness of your spouse? Have they become distant? Secretive about cell phone calls? As hard as it is to face, it may be time to find out the truth. By using an online database to trace cell phone number information, you can use your spouse's cell phone logs to find out in minutes the name and address anyone they may be cheating with.
Affairs have unfortunately become all too common. Even in marriages that appear solid, there is often a chance that one of the pair is being unfaithful. Sometimes the changes happen gradually, and other times all of a sudden. If your spouse has changed and seems to have become distant and secretive, it could be a sign there is more going on than you are aware of.
Cell phones have helped cheaters gain a false sense of security. While in the past it was nearly impossible to trace cell phone number information, it has now become easy. Online technology has allowed specialized companies to buy private information from cellular carriers and include those records in large internet databases. These directories contain nearly all phone numbers, including cell and unlisted numbers. The records are kept up-to-date almost in real time so you can be assured of the most recent information.
Within a few minutes of starting your search you will have a report that will answer all your nagging questions. There is a nominal fee for these services. This is because none of the free or public reverse phone directories has access to cell phone or unlisted number information. The low cost report is well worth it for the knowledge it can give you.
To start your search you will just need to type in the phone number you would like to do a reverse lookup on. You will be told if the number is included in the directory before you are asked to pay. This way you are not charged if the information is not in the directory. You will be able to choose from a one time search, or for a few more dollars have access to as many searches as you want to do for one year. You will receive a report within seconds that will list the name and address of the phone number owner.
Don't be played by a cheating spouse. Get the information you need by using directories that trace cell phone number data quickly and easily.

By Lauren Warner

The Secret to Living Long and Staying Happy

2009-08-14T05:02:00.000-07:00

By Dena White

Have you ever noticed that happily married people seem to live longer lives? In fact, you do not have to be married, as long as you cherish and nurture the relationship you have with your significant other, you will be stronger and more satisfied in your everyday life.
Here are a few ways you can keep the magic in your relationship alive - so the two of you can live happily for many, many years!
• Communication is key! The most important element of a healthy relationship is the openness and honesty communicated between both of you. Holding in your anger or hurt feelings will only damage your relationship. Talk to your partner - and do not forget to let your partner know that you appreciate the little things they do for you. Sharing feelings and appreciation are a great part of communication.
• Cook up some love! It has been said that way to a man's heart, or a woman's heart for that matter, is through their stomach! Seduce the one you love with bananas, chocolate, cinnamon, or any other proven aphrodisiac foods. For the man who thinks the kitchen is for women only, you should be aware that several women agree that there is nothing sexier than a man cooking for her.
• Take pride in your appearance! Eating the right foods, exercising regularly, and drinking lots of water will help you stay at a healthy weight, as well as keep your skin smooth and clear, and your hair strong and healthy. Never forget about your regular hygiene and grooming habits - after all flossing helps you live longer!
• Dress to impress! Wear something special for the one you love from time to time. Ladies, try wearing a pretty dress that he bought for you, or one you know he likes, and men you know how to look good, all you have to do is try! Come on, look nice for your sweetheart!
• Make it a date! Hectic business calendars, responsibilities with the family, and errands around the house make spontaneous getaways something of a rarity. Designate one night every week as date night for you and your honey, and do not let anything stop you! Very important, you must agree not to talk about the kids, your jobs, or money while on your date.
This week, try one or two of these suggestions and keep your relationship going strong. You can also be creative and come up with some ideas on your own. There is nothing to lose, yet you have everything to gain!

By Dena White

5 Things Guys Hate About Girls - Revealed

2009-08-14T05:01:00.000-07:00

By Mark J. Hamilton

It's true that guys find girls totally cute and adorable - but we also have standards, just like you do! So below are the five things guys hate about girls, revealed. Decode the secret and find out what guys want in a girl instead:
Acting needy for attention.Some girls can be total whiners and we can't help but get annoyed when you start complaining about everything - the food, the restaurant service, your dress, your hair, your nail polish - it's making our heads hurt. You may be doing it to get our attention but honestly, it's making us less interested every second.
Nagging and being jealous.Asking a lot of questions is fine - we'd be more than happy to answer them. But asking the same questions all over again (with a tiny hint of accusation in your tone) and can send us into an overhaul and get definitely defensive to you. Learn to trust and have confidence in us. We find cool girls definitely appealing.
Making us wait. Everybody hates waiting - including you. We can not understand why you have to take hours preparing for a date - although the results are usually worth it. Being a girl is not an excuse for being tardy. Making us do so for 5 to 15 minutes is fine but hours is definitely something we should be mad about. So have a little heart. And if you really need time, prepare ahead of schedule. Life would be so much better.
Being available 24/7.Sure, we love it when we hangout. But when you launch into a text marathon and checking up on us every minute is enough to unleash the paranoia in us. Guys love a challenge and the more you show that your world evolves on us alone makes you look like you don't have other things to do - we love a woman who has a strong personality and has a life.
Expecting us to be mind readers.Saying something and mean another has been a woman's trademark. Being overtly friendly one minute and then turn into an ice queen the next is mind boggling enough. We will love it if you tell it straight to our faces that you're not fine or that something's bothering you - it's less stressful and no pressure, isn't it?
Do you think you need to know more things guys hate about girls? Are you still wondering about other things you should never tell a man? Why don't you try to discover more when it comes to how to be the perfect girlfriend by visiting my website right now! It holds all amazing techniques on how to be great and sensual with your man - you're just one click away from all the excitement!

By Mark J. Hamilton

2 More Things That All Women Love to Hear

2009-08-14T04:58:00.000-07:00

By CR James

Getting a woman in a sexual mood involves affecting her in many different ways.
If you want to make sure that your sexual relationship remains strong throughout the years, then you need to understand how your words affect her emotionally.
Knowing what women don't like to hear and what they do like the hear can often be the difference between a relationship that works and one that doesn't work.
As someone who has helped hundreds of men with their relationship problems, I can tell you that the degree to which you know what your woman loves to hear will be directly proportional to the amount of sex that you will experience.
So let's discuss 2 things that all women love to hear.
Thing #1: "That was a good decision"
Women love being recognized for their intellect and their wisdom. When you compliment a woman's decision you provide her with this sort of recognition.
Telling a woman that she has made a good decision lets her know that you value her beyond how she looks and beyond the way that she makes you feel. By complimenting her intelligence in some way, you are saying to her that you appreciate her depth and are as stimulated by her mind as you are her outer appeal.
Thing #2: "You turn me on."
Whether you've been together for a month or 50 years, telling a woman that you are physically attracted to her tells her that she bears a unique quality that affects you in a special way.
No matter how many years the two of you have been together, a woman always likes to hear that you think of her in an intimate way and that her mere presence excites you.

By CR James

Strengthen Your Relationship - Put Off Sex For a While

2009-08-14T04:51:00.000-07:00

By Tina L. Jones

Is it a good idea to put off having sex with a new guy? Does putting off sex help or hurt your chances of taking your relationship to the next level? How long should you wait before having sex with a new partner? Sex is such an important part of a relationship and it's an important decision. There can be many consequences to sleeping with a guy that you have only just met particularly you are attracted to him emotionally and thinking of a long term relationship. Here are some things to keep in mind when deciding how long to wait before having sex.
Over recent years it has become more common for couples to have casual sex and much of the moral stigma about sex outside if marriage no longer exists. Women are a lot more comfortable with expressing their sexuality today. Having more than one partner is now acceptable for women. However that doesn't make it a good idea to sleep with every guy you are attracted to. Unless you are out to enjoy some casual sex with no expectations then you should practice a little restraint about who you sleep with.
One reason for not starting a sexual relationship too soon is that there are some guys who are just out looking to get laid. Once they have had sex they often move on. There are other guys who are might be nice guys, but they are just not ready to settle down to a serious relationship yet. By slowing things down and making a guy wait for sex you will weed out the guys who are not looking for the same thing as you. Waiting for sex also gives you time to get to know each other and develop the non-sexual side of your relationship. Getting to know him better can help you decide if the relationship is worth pursuing.
So some of the things to consider before sleeping with a guy include what your intentions are, how long you've known him and how well you know him. Sex is enjoyable and fun and no one wants you to miss out on it. But if you are after more than casual sex you will increase the chances of having a long term romance if you put off sex for a while and enjoy spending time together first.
Imagine what if you could make any man adore you, chase you, love you, and commit to you? Click Unforgettable Woman Advice and learn 77 Secrets that ninety percent of women have never heard. You have got to see this!
This article is contributed by Tina Jones. Tina is part of the Unforgettable Woman Publishing Team. She works together with founder Alexandra Fox and writes dating/relationship articles for women who want to understand male psychology, how to attract men, and find true love. You can find more about Unforgettable Woman Publishing by visiting their website

By Tina L. Jones

Too Shy With Guys? Here's How to Get Rid of the Shyness

2009-08-12T03:55:00.000-07:00

By Tina L. Jones

Are you shy with guys? Does the thought of getting laughed at or seen as weird make you shrink? Do you try to stay away from new guys for fear that you'll just embarrass yourself? If you're shy with guys, you're missing out on quite a bit of fun!
You'll need to realize that shyness is just a manifestation of a common fear -- the fear of rejection. You're afraid of getting rejected by the men who approach you, which is why you try to make it so you won't get approached at all.
But this is hardly the way to find good guys to date! You'll be the town's best-kept secret for a long time if you avoid meeting new men. Remember that confidence is a lot sexier than looks or money, and this goes both ways in the dating game.
If you're shy with guys, then you can try conquering your shyness by hanging out with men you're not particularly attracted to. You'll realize that you won't be so shy when you don't face any risk of rejection. Talking to these men will also build your confidence over time, and will also give you an opportunity to practice your flirting skills without risk.
The best way to get rid of your shyness is to not care at all about what men think of you. If you're a confident, independent, smart woman, then you have nothing to be worried about. In fact, you'll just make men even more interested in you -- then it's up to you to choose among the worthy!
Being shy with guys isn't a bad thing -- it's STAYING shy that's the killer. Don't worry about how men will think about you, and just focus on having a good time. That's how you conquer shyness, and that's how you enjoy the dating game.
If you are looking for a system to make every man adore you, chase you, love you, and commit to you, click Unforgettable Woman Advice. If you're ready for a highly effective method that's different from what every else is teaching, click 77 Secrets to Attract and Keep Him Now. You don't want to miss this!

By Tina L. Jones

Do Matchmaking Services Really Work?

2009-08-12T03:53:00.000-07:00

By Eric Dashal

With the number of people online and using matchmaking services in the millions, it makes one wonder how effective the matchmaking services provided by various websites really are. With a little bit of research, it's plain to see that most services provide a very high quality of service in the form of having assorted tools to filter through and reach out to potential matches. The point though is, the success rate of people finding just the right kind of matches.
Which matchmaking sites people are hanging out at?
It would be nearly impossible for any one individual to register with and gopher through all matchmaking sites around. By going through a few websites though, it's plain to see that the more popular websites have a certain number of criterion on the basis of which people are attracted to and register for services. These characteristics include the amount of advertising a matchmaking portal does online and off. Advertising creates awareness; and, the more people that are aware of a service, the more that are likely to register for the services.
The general tendency is for people to register with multiple matchmaking sites to check them out once they are aware of the portal's existence. This enables most individuals to come to a decision on which site to concentrate their attention to. Factors that would lead to making a decision to focus on a particular matchmaking site would include search and filtration tools available, the cost of premium services and what these services would include and the quality of results that individuals come up with when running the free searches. Once people are done with pottering around at a few websites, they usually settle on using a matchmaking service that is most in sync with their particular needs.
Getting the best value
As is the case with most services, the best quality and satisfaction is normally available with matchmaking services that charge users, for their premium services. Most of the basic services include registration with the partner search site, setting up and enabling a searchable profile and using some of the search filtration tools to help with finding a suitable match.
There are a number of matchmaking websites out there that provide the complete gamut of services for free, but many individuals who're looking for a quality service would skirt these sites and choose to register with matchmaking portals that actually charge for their services. With good reason too, since its fair to reason that people who're actually serious about the entire process would want to go about their matchmaking process with the best layers of security, scrutiny and communication facilities available; and, be willing to pay for these.
The proof is in the pudding
Most matchmaking websites generally go about publishing the number of users that are registered (both paid as well as unpaid members) with the service. They also publish the number of success stories that have resulted, because of individuals making good use of the premium services. Calculating a basic ratio and comparing between sites will show a good trend - a rapidly increasing number of people being able to find their matches online. One must note here, that less than half of the people, who actually do find their match online, go about making the information public; so it's fair that matchmaking services work far better than they take credit for.

By Eric Dashal

AAre You ALLERGIC to New Relationships?

2009-08-12T03:46:00.000-07:00

By Allan Mulholland

My ex-wife used to sneeze a lot when we first met. We were both in that dizzy "I'm in love" phase that glorifies the physical attraction when two kindred souls first meet. It was a signal that the moment was right for some passionate intimacy.
I often laughed at her sudden outbursts of uncontrollable and involuntary expulsions through the nasal passages. In true wonderment, I would ask her if this was raw lust or an allergic aberration. And while I was selfishly motivated to induce these sneezing spells as often as possible, I couldn't help but wonder whether this "mood enhancer" was a permanent lust barometer or a passing passion phase. As my relationship with her matured, I developed more discerning tastes for what went into my body and what was splashed onto my body. One of the casualties of this refinement was my dependency on "Old Spice" aftershave, a habit pasted on to me by my father. Switching to "Dolce & Gabbana" miraculously cured my ex-wife of her affliction and, alas, our conjugal exploits waned significantly. Perhaps it was an allergy after all! While this romantic musing may, or may not have been indicative of an allergic reaction, there is no doubt that we all develop strong aversions to certain people or events, especially if those people or events represent situations or occurrences that have had a major negative impact on our lives. And this past exposure can cause a profound negative reaction to some future, and totally unrelated event. You may have developed an emotional allergy to new relationships.
If you are constantly self-sabotaging any attempt at forging a new relationship, it's time to deal with this allergy! Here are five steps to neutralize the allergic symptoms
1. Identify the allergens
Take a hard look at the feelings that are causing your negative reactions to your new found relationship. What are the emotional fears that prevent you from getting involved? Is it a lack of trust? A deep-rooted lack of self-esteem? A fear of making a commitment? A lack of desire? You must become fully aware of these negative feelings in order to go to Step 2.
2. Isolate the allergens
Once you've identified the negative emotions that are stopping you in your tracks, it is important to isolate them. In order to do that, take a piece of foolscap and draw a quadrant. In the top left-hand square, write down the negative emotions in their simplest terms. In the top right-hand square, write a brief description on how these emotions affect you in a real and substantive sense.
Move to the lower left-hand quarter and write down all the positive emotions you are experiencing from this new relationship. Just jot them down in point form! This is not the time to analyze these emotions! Even if you're not experiencing too many positive emotions in the moment, but feel that you could or would like to experience them, just write them down! The more positive feelings you can link to this new relationship, the more you'll have to work with!
In the last remaining square, describe the feelings that you would experience as a result of these new positive emotions. This is the time to be verbose and creative. Put effort into your descriptions and allow the feelings and passions to surface with the painter's palette of your words!
3. Negatives "be-gone" and Positives "behold".
Look at your quadrant! These are your choices! Now fold your paper along the horizontal axis. The top half represents your negative options. The bottom half delineate the positive possibilities. Which half is more densely populated? If the top half of the page is more representative of your feelings toward this new relationship, this could truly be an allergic reaction and there may be good reasons to remove yourself from the allergen
But if the bottom half is where you have the most entries, you are ready to swallow your medication and boldly run out to that meadow they call life!
So if you're ready to make your move, go to Step 4.
4. Eliminate the allergens
Actions speak louder than words. You've already written down the plusses and minuses. My guess is that you're ready to move forward! If so, eliminate the allergens! Tear your paper in half along the horizontal axis and crumple up the top half! Now throw it in the waste basket, where it belongs. For some of you this may feel a bit "over-the-top", but it is an important symbolic gesture. And you won't suffer from any drowsy side effects!
5. Aria Fresca - Fresh Air
The Italians use this term to describe not just the air quality they're breathing, but also the symbolic "cleansing" of a situation. By eliminating the toxicity of the past, you are removing the allergens that make you react in a negative way to future relationships that may lead to a Life Without Limit!

By Allan Mulholland

Planning a Wedding on a Small Budget

2009-08-05T08:25:00.000-07:00

By Adam Gaines

Planning a wedding on a small budget isn't that hard. In fact, you can have a nice inexpensive wedding for as little as $500.
Here are a few things to help you in planning a wedding on a small budget:
1. Shop around for your wedding dress at the local consignment stores or thrift stores. Purchasing a second-hand dress will alone help you save a small fortune. Or, you can simply rent your wedding dress, which is also cheap.
2. Ask your friends and family for help, and you might find out that someone has a wedding dress available or that someone is willing to accommodate your party at their home.
3. Make wedding invitations yourself.
4. Get the flowers for your wedding locally, because shipped flowers will cost you more.
5. Keep a small list of guests.
6. Have your local supermarket make your flower arrangements and cake, and no-one will even guess where they came from.
7. Organize your wedding in your backyard or in your home. You can decorate everything yourself.
8. Prepare the food yourself, and try to have light foods rather than some special courses, for instance: vegetables, finger sandwiches, a fruit plate, a cake and some snacks. You and your friends can prepare the foods a day before your wedding. Alternatively, you can purchase the cake and the food at your local grocery store.
9. If you wish, you can have your celebration in the morning, because in this case your guests will not be expecting a lot of alcohol or food.
10. Ask a few of your friends to take pictures and video. Alternatively, you may purchase some disposable cameras and leave them on the tables for the guests to take the pictures.
11. You can have the music set up on someone's laptop or mp3 player, and rent one speaker, thus you can save on the cost of the DJ services for your wedding.
12. One of the most expensive parts of a wedding is alcohol, such as expensive wines and liquor. If you want to keep the price low you can just replace those with sparkling wine or fruit punch and add a little alcohol to it. Alternatively, you may choose to have an alcohol-free wedding, which will help you save even more money and not have to worry that someone will get too drunk.
Planning a wedding on a small budget isn't hard, and can be done without much sacrificing, and make for a very special wedding day

By Adam Gaines

Wedding Planning - Where to Start!

2009-08-05T08:20:00.001-07:00

By Gail Vince

At long last he has said those magic words 'will you marry me'. You are now engaged. The wedding date has been set. What now?
Here are a few tips to help you organize and plan your wedding to ensure nothing is forgotten or left behind.
You have been to the local newsagent and bought the latest bridal magazine. There are pages and pages of photos of beautiful wedding dresses, rings, shoes and accessories and it is full of ads on what to buy and where to buy it. There is some information on what the requirements are at a wedding but not enough for you to really get started.
Start planning your special day now, get organized instead of rushing, and have the wedding of your dreams.
Careful planning will enable you to truly enjoy every moment of your Wedding Day. Arrangements for a large conventional wedding should ideally commence between 8 - 12 months prior to the wedding date. In saying this, weddings have been planned in as little as 6 weeks and have been very successful. By using a wedding timetable (this is a list of to do's) you can follow a list of time frames to complete tasks, 12, 6, 3 and 2 months before, 6 weeks before, 2 weeks before and 1 week before the big day.
Don't forget delegation! Family and friends love to help for special occasions so use them. Bounce ideas off them, get their opinion, you don't have to act on their advice however more ideas are better than none to be able to make an informed decision.
Research and systems
When doing your research you will collect large amounts of; information, photos, samples, receipts and business cards, therefore you will need to create a system to keep all your wedding details in the one place.
It may be a ring binder with tabs for each category, or an expansion file where you are able to quickly locate information. Some of the categories may include; Wedding Dress, Men's Attire, Bridesmaid Dresses, Catering, Reception, Photography, Florist, Wedding Vehicles, Music, etc.
You could also create a scrapbook and cut images from magazines, print them off websites, insert photo's you may have taken or photo's from other peoples weddings. With a scrapbook you will be able to see how items work together to help you coordinate the theme of your wedding. Hints and tips can be noted, for example, place a disposable camera on each table (these are the shots you wouldn't normally get) and place your guests name on both sides of their name card so other guests know who is sitting at the table.
Keep a list of the most important aspects of your wedding; the venue, the entertainment and your wedding dress. When you feel you are getting bogged down with all irrelevant details, refer back to what are the most important aspects of your special day. Budget
Set a budget and stick to it! Weddings can be beautiful and fashionable without costing a fortune. By carefully budgeting, prioritizing and the assistance from family and friends you can have a wedding that is as good as any of the celebrity weddings at a third of the cost.
You may wish to open a bank account specifically for wedding expenses. This way you can keep track of all your expenses. Choose an account which offers a high interest rate on balances to get the best from your account and you may then be able to include those items that you thought you couldn't afford from the interest.
Guest List
Start by writing down all the people you know. Then start a separate list from the people on the first list who are important to you, the people who you really want to share your special day. Then continue to fine tune your list until you are at a number which is within your budget. Remember, for every name you add to your list the more money you will have to spend or you will have to do without in other areas of your planning.
The Latest Wedding Trends
Color! Color! Color! White is out, color is in!
Champagne, ivory, platinum or pink are some of the color replacing the traditional white wedding dress. By using color for the wedding dress this creates endless exciting possibilities as far as the rest of the decor goes. Colorful linen, napkins, tablecloths and chair covers, can be used to enhance the overall theme of your wedding.

By Gail Vince

Wedding Planning - Where to Start!

2009-08-05T08:20:00.000-07:00

Why Should You Elope?

2009-08-05T08:17:00.000-07:00

By Jenny Janice

Traditional wedding ceremonies are fun, no doubt about that. But they can also be tedious and difficult. So obviously, planning for a wedding is no picnic either. It will involve elaborate preparations and it will cost you a considerably large amount of money. Of course, in the name of love, you are willing to do all this and to sacrifice your time, energy, and money for something that means a lot to you and your beloved soon to be husband or wife.
But this is also one of the reasons why people elope-and one of the reasons why you should, too. Years before, eloping is frowned upon. Today, when you elope, you will no longer suffer the social stigma attached to the practice years before. As a proof, many companies and individuals offer eloping packages. This is surely a sign that there is indeed a sizable market for this service, because there are a significant number of people who elope.
So why should you elope?
You should elope when you want to marry someone without the usual frills and without spending a huge amount of money. No matter what type of elopement you do, you will still save a lot of money because usual, traditional marriages are so elaborate and expensive. The cost of the wedding ceremony alone is enough to bury a person in debt. More than the expenses for the ceremony itself, you will have to pay for the clothes you and your wedding entourage will wear and the adornments and decorations for the location of the wedding, among others. When you elope, your costs are minimal, even if you elope outside the state-or even the country.
You can also consider eloping if both your families are based very far from where you live. This is also connected to the financial side of weddings, as it is. Obviously, the only way you can have a complete ceremony is if you bring your relatives to where the ceremony will be held. And this could mean many things-you take the ceremony in a place near to both families or you shoulder a percentage of their traveling expenses. If you hold the ceremony in the location near where one's family is based, the other party will be offended. If you elope, it's only natural that no one gets invited; in the process, you don't offend or hurt anyone.
Also, you can elope if you have done the whole thing before and you wouldn't want to go through it again. People who have been married once (or more than once) may have done an elaborate wedding before. And they would not want to do it again because, as it is, a ceremony didn't really help their marriage. These are the people who thoroughly understand that it isn't about the ceremony; it is about the union of the people, it is about the people involved in the union themselves who make the marriage matter.
There are several reasons why you should consider eloping. In the end, after all, it's not the ceremony that will make or break the relationship. When you elope, you acknowledge the significance of the event.

By Jenny Janice

How to Move On

2009-08-03T03:03:00.000-07:00

By Carl Capellan

Moving on is hard to do. It's inexplicably tough especially when you're holding on to somebody and you can't just let go of the feelings for that person. It's even unbearable if it's a case of reciprocated love.
Channeling your energies to other worthwhile activities was the unanimous advice I've heard from my friends. One must need to divert their attention away from the source of the heartache. This is easier said than done. Can you turn your eyes away from the person the knocks you off your feet? Can you refrain from thinking of the person that makes you smile? Can you stop your ears from hearing his voice? Can you cease your breathing every time that person passes by so that you cannot smell his intoxicating scent? Its just like subjecting yourself into an unbearable agony, a suffering that you need to go through everyday of your life. How can you escape from this wretched existence then?
I believe that moving on starts with acceptance. For failed relationships, moving on begins with accepting the fact that it's over. For unrequited love, it starts with recognizing the fact that you're not for each other. Thinking that somebody better is meant for you is a healthy way of dealing with rejection. Acceptance starts when anguish ends. Moreover, acceptance paves the way for the healing process to commence.
Moving on also means letting go of your broken dreams and shattered illusions. When you're in love with a person, you can't help but plan your future with them. You see yourself doing things together, even to the point of growing old together. I think this a big factor why most people find it hard to let go. I feel for this people I because share the same sentiments with them.
Moving on also means emancipation from false hopes. Just because your crush smiled at you doesn't necessarily mean that he likes you too. Just because your ex texted you doesn't automatically mean that he wants you back. It's better not to jump into conclusions to avoid hurting yourself in the long run. We tend to do this when we are in love. We make a big deal out of simple gestures, especially of those were from the ones we love. I must admit I am guilty of this.
Moving on involves prayer. You ask the Lord to relieve your heart from the turbulence it feels and ask Him to give you wisdom to understand without questioning His divine plan for you. Prayer eases one's burden and clears one's mind. So in times of despair, talk to the Lord and meditate.
Everything has a beginning and an end. Love is no exception. Moving on was never easy. Lucky is he who has perfected the art of letting go. It takes time. It is a long and often a painful process. It entails a roller coaster of emotions that we need to overcome. This makes the whole experience more human. Only when we know how it feels to let go can we fully understand and appreciate how it is to love and be loved.

By Carl Capellan

Should You Really Make Your Man Wait For Sex?

2009-08-03T03:01:00.000-07:00

By Tina L. Jones

Is it really a good idea to make your man wait for sex? Have you ever wondered when it is ok to have sex? How long should you wait in your relationship before having sex? Women all find it really difficult to understand male psychology and how long they should wait before they have sex with a man.
Understanding how to make your man wait for sex can make your relationship much longer lasting. This can be very confusing to understand how long you should make your man wait for sex. There isn't actually any right or wrong answer. If you are looking for a quick casual relationship then it can be great fun to have sex as early as possible. However if you are after a committed relationship then you must wait for your relationship to develop much slower.
Making your guy wait for sex might be a fantastic opportunity for your relationship to improve. This is because men don't associate sex and emotions with one another. Sex is often just seen as a need rather than an emotional feeling. Women think the complete opposite and this is because sex is linked with emotions. Women can get confused when they have sex with a guy and realize that he doesn't feel the same way about them.
Women have a close relationship between their emotions and sex. As soon as they sleep with a man they connect strong emotions to them and this can cause problems if he doesn't feel the same. It can be helpful for you to wait for sex with a guy so that you can improve your relationship. Sex can cloud a mans judgment and he might star to see you as a casual fling rather than a serious contender for a serious relationship. It's important that you don't let him have sex straight away because if you do he will start to think of you as a fling.
It's better if you can build your relationship on a solid foundation. To do this you should start out as friends. Starting out as friends gives you both a chance to get to know each other and this will only do your relationship good. You must make him wait for sex if you want to stand any chance of your relationship surviving. Now you should know that if you make your man wait for sex you can strengthen your relationship.

By Tina L. Jones

The Symbolic Meaning of the Engagement Ring

2009-08-03T02:59:00.000-07:00

By Jeff Glasser

In the United States, as well as many other countries, an engagement ring is worn on the fourth finger of the left hand. This tradition is thought to be from the Romans, who believed this finger to be the beginning of the "vein of love," the vein that leads to the heart. They are promise rings. They are the promise of commitment and of things to come.
The ring is a symbol of two peoples love and obligation towards each other. It is an important time in the couple's lives and therefore choosing that perfect ring is the first step towards building a life together and therefore a lot of emphasis is placed on getting it right. It is a representation of your love and dedication and hence an extremely important piece of jewelry. The classic engagement ring is composed of two parts: a diamond and a setting. For the best value, find the ring setting she will love, then devote the remainder of your budget to a beautiful, certified diamond.
Diamonds are used the in most settings, mainly because of their durability and strength. These qualities are meant to symbolize the relationship, so the diamond is usually the centerpiece of the ring's setting. Diamonds are the best of all jewelry stones available to the serious jewelry buyer.
Platinum has become the new "it" metal for engagement rings, but it comes with a hefty price tag. Fortunately, there are plenty of metals on the market that are still beautiful, elegant and less expensive. Designer rings are always more expensive because they offer you the quality that comes with their name as well as a lifetime guarantee. You can find ready made rings in almost every jewelry store or you can custom make one to match your requirements, special design and budget.
In the United States, as well as many other countries, an engagement ring is worn on the fourth finger of the left hand. This tradition is thought to be from the Romans, who believed this finger to be the beginning of the "vein of love," the vein that leads to the heart. They are promise rings. They are the promise of commitment and of things to come

By Jeff Glasser

Is Courtship Necessary?

2009-08-03T02:57:00.000-07:00

By Joseph Ene
Courtship is a period when someone is trying to win love of another person. Courtship can be regarded as a period when two people who have agreed to marry get acquainted with each other. In this case, approval or consent has been given by the one being courted to the one courting, that is, they are already engaged.
It is better to court before marriage. This is because:
1. Both of you are from different background. There is need to spend time, some months before your wedding to know some things about each other.
2. Courtship allows for adjustments to some of each other's likes and dislikes or tribal differences that will help your marriage to succeed in future.
3. It is the foundation on which every marriage is built. The way most couples live after wedding reflects the way they courted.
4. It affords you an opportunity to further confirm your conviction about the person you want to marry. You may discover that you were not led by God after all but were carried away by mere infatuation or charm. A broken engagement is better than a broken marriage.
5. Lack of proper courtship has made a lot of couples who were brought together by God to be unhappy in their homes.
6. It is approved by God. The case of Mary and Joseph was stated in the Holy Bible to show us that courtship is biblical.
It is therefore good to court before marriage because a fruitful courtship is the one that leads to wedding and followed by a fruitful and happy marriage

By Joseph Ene

Divorce is Not the Solution to a Broken Heart

2009-07-29T10:49:00.000-07:00

By Teecee Go

It is an undeniable fact that there are times when you can be deeply heart-broken in your marriage. You may face some situations that disappoint and hurt you greatly. You may even decide to break up. However, at whatever stage you are in, divorce may not be the right solution. Your marriage may still be at the brink of collapse or you may have already divorced. Divorce is something that should only be turned to when everything else fails. You should try to save your relationship as much as you can.
When you are heart-broken in your marriage and decide to seek divorce, you may just end up opening a Pandora's Box where you are likely to be hurt even more. Divorce does not usually bring the desired peace of mind but just creates more frustrations to both partners involved. The devastation is bound to reverberate to all those people you are close to, which does not just include kids, if there are any.
Ideally, you should not be considering divorce as a solution to your heart-break. However, even if you are thinking of it, you should at least hold it back until you try the following measures.
Marriage counseling or therapy
When things are getting out of hand between you and your spouse, you may need to seek professional intervention. It is better if both of you can go for marriage counseling. Nevertheless, if this is not possible, you can take the initiative. It will be better than not taking this corrective measure at all. You will be able to receive a lot of great insights.
Therapy can help you to discover other issues that are not even directly related to your marital problems. You need to understand that you should not just focus on your marriage when you want to heal your broken heart. For a healthy relationship, you will need to tackle a number of issues from time to time.
Communication
The solution to marital problems often becomes painfully ironic and tricky due to the significant role that communication plays. In order to solve problems, there is need of open communication between spouses. Sadly, it is this important ingredient that is often cut off when problems begin to rear their ugly heads.
It is through communication that you will be able to reach an amicable solution to your problem. When you would like to heal your broken heart, you cannot take communication as just one of the solutions you may opt for. It is a must.
Spending some time together
When speaking of spending time together, it means being alone together. Nothing should interrupt your quality time as you restore the spark between you.

By Teecee Go

How Can I Makeup With My Girlfriend? - Effective Solutions

2009-07-29T10:38:00.000-07:00

By Rahul D

Normally, a woman breaks up with a man due to reasons like cheating on her, his annoying friends, or his irksome lifestyle. If your girlfriend has dumped you, then you might have reason to ask yourself - how can I makeup with my girlfriend. You can makeup if you both had a real relationship together for which you can use these tips.
1. Leave her alone and let her miss you. You may be tempted to email, send an SMS, or call her up. But if you really want to makeup with her, then avoid doing these things unless off course you are the one who is seriously guilty for the rift between you two.
2. Since you are the one who wants her back, you should make an effort from your side and make the first move. However, wait for three weeks before you call her. Talk to her in a casual way. Do not show her that you have been affected by the break up.
3. If the problems that caused the break up are not of a serious nature, then the chances of you getting your girlfriend back are greater then if you cheated on her.
4. Never tell her that your life has become miserable because of the break up. She may patch up with you out of pity but only for a short time.
5. If she talks to you pleasantly you could ask for a second chance, however, do not forget to ask her how you can make things right again. Remember, she is not to be taken for granted.
6. Finally while asking for a second chance, do not whine, cry or persuade. This will instantly turn her off and your chance of getting her back will turn bleak. Be confident, and tell her that you miss her. Then ask for a second chance.

By Rahul D

I Want Revenge on My Ex Boyfriend - Here is a What I Did

2009-07-29T10:35:00.000-07:00

By Wande Ramos

I was married less than a year when my husband called me on the phone one day to say he wanted a divorce. No surprise in the use of the phone, he proposed to me that way also.
Never the less I was shocked. This had been a real life changing experience for me for once I married I moved away to his state, also quit my job to find work in his home town. Moved my daughters to a new school and literally became a Mrs. and forgot me.
I was angry, hurt and ready to kill him I want revenge. It is a frustrating sort of anger one that slowly builds inside till you want to explode. At first I tried the nice way and cooperate with his plan of separation hoping he would change his mind. I watched as he packed his things and moved out.
Now I was left with alone with my girls in a strange town with no friends of mine own, only his family and acquaintances. I knew I had to get out of there and go back home to where I felt safe and loved.
Quickly I packed and moved in spite of the fact, that it was the middle of the school year and I had no job back home. It felt great to at least have some control of my life.
Once back home, I had plenty of time to think of what he did and my anger grew even stronger. I felt I had left something undone that I had not fought for my side. Now that some weeks had gone by, I started to think this would be a good time to take revenge on my ex, he would never see it coming.
I went over what he loved the most that I could destroy. I imagined traveling back to his hometown he often worked late, so I knew where I could find his car. I could easily sneak into the parking lot and pour red paint on his pretty white car that he loved so much, That would be a sweet revenge on ex.
Better yet for real revenge I could write a letter to his boss accusing him of bribery and theft which would have gotten him fired! Or even calling his mother and lying about physical abuse which would have hurt him and her.
It played over and over in my mind how to do these things and how I would feel after. My girlfriend even volunteered to drive down with me to pull off my revenge on my ex schemes, we had it all planned out.
Then it hit me, what kind of person am I? Do I need revenge in order to move on and feel better about myself? There was nothing wrong with me, I did nothing wrong, it was him who was the idiot. What better revenge on my ex could there be than just completely erase him out of my heart and life. Like he never existed on this planet!
I felt better already knowing I did not have to go to extreme actions to get over him. Hurting him would only prove he meant something to me and that emotion he was not getting ever again. Revenge on my ex would only have hurt me and bring me down for it would not have restored my relationship, one that obviously was not right in the first place.
Yes, revenge on your ex is the first reaction when you are hurt. But if you give yourself time to really think and realize exactly who you will be hurting, it will fade away rather quickly.
Life experiences are only mistakes if you do not learn from them. Now you know to be careful the next time. Take the time to invest in yourself by learning from other couples mistakes. There are plenty of great resource on the internet that will teach you what to look out for and how to build a sold relationship.
Next time there will be no heartaches and thoughts of revenge for you will know more about yourself and how to have a love that will last forever.

By Wande Ramos

How Men and Women View Relationships - How to Win Him Back

2009-07-29T10:33:00.000-07:00

By Teecee Go

Have you ever felt so comfortable with someone that you revealed something you immediately wished you hadn't? Did he cringe? Did you cringe? It may have been something innocent, but it just came out wrong or misunderstood, and then you both didn't want to talk about it. It sounded innocent enough when you rehearsed it with your girls. However, their reaction was not even close to his reaction. Try to remember that men and women think differently.
You are not the first woman that has had to deal with this situation. You can learn a lesson from the countless others that have been in your shoes.
Men don't run from commitment; instead they run from a woman they don't want a commitment from. Men don't pull away from the relationship because you can animate a story that brings the house down. They withdraw when your stories starts to embarrass or belittle them. Men don't want their fears pointed out, whether or not you are joking. It's okay to be funny but certainly not at his expense.
Men see fears or insecurities in a completely different manner than women. When women see insecurities and fears in a man, she either wants to fix him or grab her keys and run for the door. When men see insecurities and fears in a woman, he starts calculating how long he can have sex with her before he calls it quits. When you tell him you don't want your current relationship to end like the previous relationship, he'll begin to think that you have learned nothing from it and feel the mistakes are doomed to repeat themselves. He wants your issues to be in order when you both sit down to the table.
Men and women tend date to have fun. Men want to have fun with someone that is easygoing and lively. He wants someone that is good on the inside and will project that good inside outside. Men want to date women that are sexy but they will commit to a woman that is emotionally grounded.
Learn how to conquer your insecurities and channel your fears so that you are in control of your life. There is a time and a place for everything. If you must talk about your fears and insecurities, present them using a positive perspective. Ensure the atmosphere is appropriate for the talk. You must also ensure the topic is appropriate for the conversation. When you tell talk about yourself, don't forget to include your growth progress. Let him know that you are aware of your flaws and are in control.
Be confident in knowing your shortcomings and be proactive in resolving them. Confidence is not something you can fake so it's important to have it. Better yourself and practice your swagger. Women who carry themselves like they can face anything intrigue men. In fact, for many men, it's quite a turn on.

By Teecee Go

Men in Relationships - 3 Truths That May Shock You

2009-07-29T05:21:00.000-07:00

By A Aaron

When you think of men in relationships, do you tend to think that they really can't stand commitment, and would much rather keep their freedom? Do you think they tend to cheat? If you have these and other negative ideas about men in relationships, then you're probably having a hard time finding a healthy, loving relationship with a man.
But there are three truths about men in relationships that most women don't know or don't believe. Knowing these facts will actually help you open up to better relationships with guys. The opposite is also true -- not believing these truths will only make you miserable with time.
#1 - Men don't need to chase women to fall in love with them.
Many women have this misconception -- in order to make a guy fall in love with them, they have to play hard-to-get. The problem is that some women take this idea to the extremes, which is never a good idea. It's good not to fall for his flattery too easily, but it's never a good idea to be unappreciative whenever he gives you a gift, for instance.
You'll have to remember that while men like the chase, they don't NEED to chase. It's entirely possible for a guy to fall in love with you simply because you're you, so don't make it harder for him by playing unnecessary cat-and-mouse games.
#2 - Men feel emotions too.
Another unhealthy idea that many women have about men is that men are unfeeling critters who can't take a hint. You've probably been there before -- when you try to bring up a problem in the relationship, he seems to shrug it off as something trivial. And when you insist on talking about it, he says something like, "Why are you being so dramatic?"
It may be annoying, but it's simply a man's way of saying that he can't handle the intense situation you're putting him in. Pressing the issue will only make things worse, which brings us to the third shocking truth:
#3 - Men want to be in relationships.
You'll be surprised to know that most men are actually looking for that one woman they can settle down with for the long-term. And they're actually willing to commit to one woman -- but only as long as it's not hard for them.
This is perhaps the most important truth you'll need to realize when it comes to men in relationships -- the easier it is for him to feel attracted to you, the more likely he is to commit to you. Try to avoid the usual hang-ups that other women have with their men, such as nagging and bringing up problems. Instead, focus on creating a happy, healthy relationship for the two of you.

By A Aaron

5 Questions to Ask Your Unfaithful Spouse to Determine If There is a Future

2009-07-28T11:16:00.000-07:00

By Edd Upperman

There is nothing quite as difficult to handle as finding out you have an unfaithful spouse. To think that you have put so much into a relationship and your partner has been cheating on you is devastating. As soon as you find out, there are some questions you will want to ask them to determine if there is a future ahead for the two of you.
1. Did you feel guilty? The first question you want to ask your unfaithful spouse is if they felt guilty after the first time. This will reveal the values of the person and how they really feel about you. Everyone is going to react different. Some feel so disgusted after the first time they end it immediately while others feel no guilt whatsoever. Find out how your spouse feels.
2. Did you talk about a future together? Find out if this was just an affair or if your partner has discussed a future with the other person. If they admit they have fallen in love with the other person and see a future with them, this can explain why it may have gone on for so long. If they say there was no future ever discussed, ask them why they did it in the first place.
3. What attracted you to the person? Although you may have an idea of what the person looks like or who it is, ask your partner what attracted them to the affair partner. Ask them to tell you why they provoked the affair, went through with it, and what they saw in the other person. Are these qualities different from the ones you possess?
4. Did you think about me at all? One of the toughest questions you will have to ask your unfaithful spouse is if they thought about you at all. Ask them if they thought about you before, during or after the affair happened. Although there are few positives that can come from a situation like this, it can be assuring to hear your spouse say they truthfully thought about you the entire time and feel extremely guilty.
5. Will you ever do it again? The final question you have to get the answers for is whether or not they will ever cheat again. Be firm and forceful to get the truth out of them. Ask them how they will prove to you they will never cheat again and why you should even trust them. It is difficult to remain with a partner after they have cheated, but it may be worth it if the two of you are still in love.

By Edd Upperman

12 Clues of Infidelity - How to Catch a Cheating Husband

2009-07-28T11:14:00.000-07:00

By K. T. Ramons

A cheating husband will always leave some signs of infidelity. What it takes to catch him red-handed is to know where to look for the clues. It is not difficult to detect the signs of infidelity. These are 12 little things you need to observe in order to stop his extramarital affair at an early stage.
1. His opinion about cheating spouses has recently changed. 2. He has been getting to work earlier than usual. 3. When you are nearby, he always tries to hide the computer screen. 4. Unfamiliar ID's have recently appeared in his instant messenger. 5. He has stopped saying "I love you" and forgot your birthday or your anniversary. 6. He has started using curse language more often. 7. Your past mistakes that have been forgotten and forgiven are brought up again. 8. He has become more possessive of his personal belongings like his cell phone or his wallet. 9. He has been buying new clothes, using new cologne, and spending more time grooming in front of the mirror. 10. You found extra clothes in his car. 11. He has been encouraging you to visit your mom and dad or your friends without him. 12. All of a sudden, he oddly remembered that he left something at the office and had to hurry back to get it. If this situation happened again and again, don't you think it is unusual?
What do you think is the most obvious sign? Your gut feeling--this is probably the best indicator. A woman's intuition is something nobody can underestimate. Listen to your inner voice. If you detect that something is wrong, heighten your degree of alertness and start actively looking for signs of a cheating husband.

By K. t. Ramons

Catch a Cheating Spouse - Confirm Your Suspicions of Their Secret Double Life

2009-07-28T11:12:00.000-07:00

By David Leonard Houde

To catch a cheating spouse, you first must know what to look for. Sometimes a cheater will do everything to protect their secret double life. Fortunately, the signs of a cheater are easy to detect and spot. They might think they have the wool over your eyes, but that is far from the truth! Here are some great pointers that can help uncover their love affair.
Your spouse calls you to tell you, yet again, they are staying at work late. This might just be a cover for their secret love affair, and it might be time to bring your poor over-worked spouse a late night snack! They might also have an out of town business trip to take. It might be they leave extra early for work as well. Whatever the case, you probably want to dig deeper.
Changes to appearance can be another sign of a cheating spouse. To gain the affection of a new flame sometimes takes a bit of showing off. If they want to impress this new lover, changing their appearance - clothing, hair style, cologne/perfume - might be in order. Sudden changes usually are the sign of life changes. Find out more about why they suddenly are wearing something, that six months earlier, they would not be caught dead wearing.
Depending on the depth of this new relationship, the intimacy you both have could be very lacking. If sex is the center of the affair, they probably will come up with all sorts of excuses why you two cannot take a "roll in the hay". They will appear distant, there will be less conversation, and they probably will be daydreaming more. Unless you can pin this lack of desire to something specific, it might mean there is more to it.
Are you tired of not knowing what is going on? If you suspect there is something going on, it probably is ripping you apart. You want to be sure though.

By David Leonard Houde

Love Triggers - Know What Make men Tick

2009-07-27T03:40:00.000-07:00

By Tina L. Jones

What are the most powerful love triggers in the dating game? What makes men tick? Is it possible to develop a personality that any man would love? It's entirely possible to become a woman that men would love to spend time with, but you'll need to keep these love triggers in mind before you can take the first step.
#1 - Have a great personality.
Having good looks is okay, since it grabs attention and opens the door for men to walk up and talk to you. But to capitalize on the situation, you'll need a great personality. Too many good-looking women turn men off simply because they don't know how to talk about anything besides themselves.
Try to be funny, confident, and independent. Learn to talk about bigger things in life, such as current events, his situation, and your own dreams. Men love women who can carry a great conversation, and would love to take such women out on dates often.
#2 - Don't just talk to anyone.
When you walk into the dating game, it's a good idea to know the kinds of men you like to meet. Don't be like most women who'd date just about anyone, hoping they'll get lucky and find someone who's also desperate for a relationship.
Decide who you want to meet. Do you like smart men? Good-looking men? Businessmen? A woman who's selective with the men she dates is very attractive, and is a definite love trigger.
#3 - Don't rush into a relationship.
The third love trigger is a woman who takes her time to develop a more solid emotional foundation for the relationship. Too many women rush into relationships, which give them the unflattering image of being needy and dependent. Be the opposite of this, and men will definitely notice you

By Tina L. Jones

Signs Men Give When They Are in Love - Is Your Man Showing Any of These Signs?

2009-07-27T03:39:00.000-07:00

By Michael Lee

There are certain signs men give when they are in love. Unfortunately, most women remain unaware of them, because they are used to certain stereotypical gestures of affection. Not all men can be like your favorite television hunk. It's better to understand the kind of person your man is before jumping into conclusions.
By looking at the following signs men give when they are in love, you will be able to determine just how deep your man's feelings go for you.
1) Trinkets galore
Men who are in love like to shower their woman with gifts. Some guys like to be generous whenever they can to keep you happy. And even though he has already given you a lot of presents, he expects you to cherish every single one of them.
2) Jealousy, jealousy
One of the rather negative signs men give when they are in love is that they become jealous easily. Even if you're just talking to Dave, the harmless copy machine guy, he will see red.
A lot of women find this trait unreasonable, but look at it from his point of view. Your guy just doesn't want to lose you, and other men who try to get close to you pose a possible threat to your relationship.
3) Meeting the family
When a man brings up the subject of introducing you to his family, you can be sure that he is in love with you.
Men don't often introduce their girlfriends to their parents unless the relationship is getting serious. After all, he only wants to bring the best home for ma or for pa. This is also a big step for your relationship.
4) Making the time
One of the obvious signs men give when they are in love is when they make the time to be there for you. Whether it's for a shopping trip to the mall or just plain hanging out at home, a guy who loves you will definitely be there.
When you break this behavior down, it simply means that your guy wants to spend more time with you because you make him happy. Never mind that he doesn't like shopping or that he knows you two will only be watching a chick flick on DVD. If he loves you, he'll be there.
5) Saying "I love you"
And finally, a guy who says "I love you" sincerely really is in love with you. These words are magical for men. They won't say it so easily because saying it binds them to a relationship even when they're not ready yet.
So when a guy finally whispers these three sweet words, you know you two are in for the long haul.
These are just some of the signs men give when they are in love. Depending on the kind of guy you're man is; he might express one or even all of the signs above. And when he does, don't forget to express your love right back.

By Michael Lee

How to Please a Man and Make Him Love You More

2009-07-27T03:35:00.000-07:00

By Michael Lee

It has been commonly thought that pleasing a man would require tons of research, experience, and a lot of other factors that you need to be good at. Well, you can take it easy. Just like any other skill; the more you do it, the more you become better at it; however, there are views on how to please a man that are much different now.
Knowing Yourself
When you ask how to please a man, you are asking for ways to become more seductive - to connect and bond more with your partner. To be able to romance a man, you'll need to know yourself from top to bottom.
That is, who you are as a woman. What are your qualities and traits that might be seductive to the man you want to please? Asking yourself such edifying points and answering them in your mind assertively will lead the difference in the type of romance you are looking for at the moment.
Trust me, there is a difference between a good candidate for eternal loyalty and a candidate that will be your best bet for Mr. Right Now for a weekend night at the club.
If you know who you really are, you become more capable of your abilities as a person. You know what you are good at, what you can do and what things you can improve at.
If you want to know how to please a man, you would want to be the best person you are as much as possible; and that state could only be achieved if you know who you are.
Knowing What You're Good At
Know what you are good at in a relationship. If you've never been in a relationship back in the days of high school or college, weekends friendships could be a great instant source of answers for knowing what you're truly good at.
Getting honest feedback from your fellow man in such case would require you to loosen up and decrease your ego. Traditionally when you ask in an honest and gentle way, you should get answers.
Romance And Sex
Sex is quite a different issue. A lot of people would take this wrong since most people would think that a couple would only achieve intimacy through sex. While sex could help improve your relationship with your man, there is much more that you should focus on.
When it comes to learning how to please a man, it isn't all about sex. In fact, if you ask most people including married couples, you'll often get the response that romance starts before sexual intimacy. The details, the form of communication, and how you handle yourself are a starting line-up for successful beginnings on how to please a man.

By Michael Lee

Three Things Almost All Women Love in Bed by Ryan Harten

2009-07-24T01:10:00.000-07:00

Becoming a better lover is all about giving women what they desire in bed. Many 'sexperts' will tell you the best way of satisfying a woman in bed is simply to ASK her what she wants. I do not disagree with this. However, there are going to be things that your girl leaves out. These are going to be things she is either a little embarrassed about, or she is trying to spare your feelings (ie. "I wish you could last longer than 30 seconds"). Well, here are some of those deep secrets. Read on.
1. Dirty Talk
Few women admit they like this, but my experience has taught me that MOST love it in bed.
The thing about dirty talk is that you need to start off very slow and gradually build upon what you say. No woman is going to appreciate you dishing out a bunch or dirty words without being 'warmed up' first.
Just start small, and build upon what you say while watching her reactions.
2. Get Rough
You must understand that most women do not want to 'make love' every single time they have sex. In other words, they do not want all that cute compassion, gentleness, and innocent eye contact.
Women are humans just like us. They have sexual urges which they want satisfied. And the best way to satisfy these urges is by giving her some passionate, rough sex.
Don't get me wrong. I absolutely love and respect women. But my experience has shown me that women LOVE to be dominated during sex. There is something so raw and sexually gratifying for a woman to be dominated during sex.
Don't be afraid to get a little rough with her. She will usually end up escalating it herself.
3. Oral Sex
There seems to be a lot of men who hate giving women oral sex. I really don't understand this. And neither do the women!
There are women who get more excited for the oral sex MORE than the actual sex. So give her what she wants, bro!
And One Last thing...
If you want to become the man of choice for ANY woman in bed, you MUST learn to stack her orgasms. With just a LITTLE effort you can gain the power to give women multiple mind blowing orgasms ...and in my experience, the rewards are worth their weight in orgasmic gold for the both of you!

By Ryan Harten

Exploring Sexual Fantasies by Matt D Fuller

2009-07-24T01:00:00.000-07:00

Those with strong sexual fantasies are likely to already be enjoying regular sexual gratification according to human sexual conduct experts. Further research indicated that fantasies relating to sex are connected with high levels of libido combined with those (women) who are susceptible to frequent sexual climax.
Women who experience high levels of orgasm are fueled by their ability to climax every time they are sexually engaged. Not all women experience climax when sexually aroused, but those who do will often fantasize about raising their orgasmic potentiality.
Women who fantasize during sex are also more likely to achieve climax. Combining ones imagination whilst having sex is said to be one answer to achieving orgasm. Common advice used by sex counselors for women who have difficulty reaching climax is to let their imagination play a role whilst having sex with their partner.
It is common for both men and women to fantasize about being with other people during sex. don't feel ashamed if you are making love with your husband or wife and are fantasizing about being enraptured by Gwyneth Paltrow or George Clooney. Modern research points out that women are just as likely to have sexual fantasies during sex with their partners as men are.
What does this indicate with regards to the relationship when fantasies are commonly used during sex? It is very normal for couples to explore new means of achieving stimulation, to add zest to love making. Fantasizing during sex can be just the tonic a relationship needs to take her over the edge. Our mind is the most powerful tool we possess.
Women tend to fantasize about the one person during sex , whilst men tend to fantasize about a variety of sexual partners or several at once - As if we didn't already know this. Common fantasies men experience usually involve distinct acts involving specific body parts, whilst women's fantasies are less graphic and can involve having risky sex at the office or in public, for example.
Do fantasies always involve the physical act of sex with each other? Some couples explore other options to spice things up and will engage the services of online dating singles sites ,adult dating sites or personal ads to involve a third person or couple. The most popular scenario is to seek out a female companion. One of the most common fantasies for females is to experience a same sex liaison. Some specifically targeted online dating singles sites or swingers dating sites include profiles of singles or couples who are looking for other couples for encounters.
If you plan to involve a third person or couple, be certain your relationship has the ability to remove any emotional attachment from such an arrangement. If you are both uncertain, best to stay away from this and stick to Gwyneth and George

By Matt D Fuller

12 Elegant Bridal Hairstyles For Weddings

2009-07-20T03:16:00.000-07:00

By Jacqueline Lajoie

Dallas is known for its class, affluence, and style around the world. Many brides living in Texas decide to get married in Dallas proper for its reception facilities such as the Dallas Museum of Art, The Nasher, Merchanson, and other large and elegant buildings with the ability to host 100s of people.
Just like for all brides, when the big day is approaching, of course there is so much to remember and so much to do to prepare for it-to make sure your wedding day is as perfect as possible. Since all eyes will be on you as the bride, it is only natural to be stressed out over your gown, your makeup, jewelry, and your hair. It will all come together with time and planning, so try to relax. That said, let's take a look at some of the more elegant bridal hairstyles popular in Dallas you can choose from to help you complete the perfect look and shine on your wedding day as the beautiful bride you were meant to be. Whether you have short or long hair, there are a variety of options you can use for bridal hairstyles for your wedding in Dallas.
1. Upsweep: One of the most common ways to style your wedding hair is to choose an upsweep of hair. While this particular hairstyle can refer to a variety of different styles, for our purposes, it is the simple upsweeping of hair at the base of the neck. This is a very elegant style in its simplicity and grace, and can be accented with either delicate or demonstrative hair combs. Moreover, it can be as loose or tight as you prefer.
2. Down: Though often overlooked as a style, wearing your short to long hair down can prove quite elegant, despite the informality usually attached to it. There are a variety of things a woman can do with her hair if left down-curled, waved, or left straight. Whichever you choose, make sure your hair is well groomed so that the beauty of your hair can be accentuated while down.
3. Half up: Half up is another popular choice for brides to be, as it shows off the face, while leaving some hair down for femininity. Your hair can be swept from both sides evenly and secured with a barrette or other decorative bauble, or affixed on the side of your head. In either event, it is a beautiful way to combine two different hairstyles in one delicate wedding hairstyle..
4. Braided: Whether you choose one simple braid, a French braid, or still smaller braids entwined in your hair-all of them are elegant choices for a wedding day hairstyle.
5. Bun: Though seemingly simple, a bun at the nape of your neck or back of your head can add a beautiful and sophisticated elegance to any type of gown and jewelry you choose, and makes for an easy to maintain wedding hairstyle.
6. French Twist: A fresh twist is a bit dressier than a bun and less simple, but still demonstrates a simple classic hairstyle for any wedding day.
7. Curled: Perhaps you would like to add curls to your hair or define the ones you already have. Whichever you choose, soft wavy curls can add a romantic look to any wedding gown and bride.
8. Straight: If you are looking for a sleeker look-and you have curly hair, you should try the sophisticated elegance of straightening your hair.
9. Ringlets: A very popular choice for many brides-whether they opt to wear their hair up or down, if they have short or long hair is to have ringlets put in. As long as the ringlets are soft and not tight, the look is very romantic and old fashioned.
10. Beading: Once you have decided upon the style for your wedding day hair, you may want to consider beading to intersperse and accent it.
11. Ribbons/headbands: Another option for both formal and more informal looks are weaving and tying ribbons and headbands into your hair for a subtle accent.
12. Flowers: Many brides choose to accent their upsweeps and half up hairstyles with both real and faux flowers. The flowers add a romantic and earthy accent to any wedding gown, and are suited best to outdoor weddings that are less formal.

By Jacqueline Lajoie

Getting Married - Want to Or Have To?

2009-07-20T03:14:00.000-07:00

By Daryl Campbell

If you are not careful you would get the funny idea that the entire country of Japan has gone konkatsu crazy. That is a term coined by writer Touko Shirakawa meaning that waiting for that special someone to come along and sweep you off your feet is not going to get it done. It requires konkatsu ; also known as marriage hunting.
Needless to say many in Japan took it to heart. As Akiko Fujita of Voice of America writes, "The term "konkatsu" has become so popular there is even a television drama named after it."
That word has also been a jackpot to the matchmaking industry which has been doing big business since the release of the book co-authored by Shirakawa: Marriage Hunting Era.
The timing as far as the Japanese government was concerned could not have been better. More people were staying single well into their late thirties. In fact the number has tripled since the nineteen eighties. That was not good news for a country with an already dwindling population.
It may not be a national craze in other parts of the world but many people can probably relate. There is a certain pressure about getting married which can come from external sources like family constantly asking when are you going to tie the knot.
Or the pressure may come from you. You see some of your long time friends getting engaged and while you are happy for them, there is that voice somewhere inside of you asking when is it going to be your turn.
Whether you subscribe to the romantic school of meeting your soul mate and living ever happily or not is a moot point. What is the issue is exactly why you want to get married. Is it:
1. Clocks
Are you telling yourself time is running out? That if you do not get married and soon then it will be too late? That's a lot of undue pressure to put on yourself.
It can also lead you down the path of settling for someone you know in your heart that you have no business being with. Another thing to keep in mind is what happens if you meet someone special after the deadline?
2. On The Bandwagon
A lot of people in Japan are getting in on the marriage hunting craze. It's not hard to guess that there are more than a few who are doing it because it seems like everyone else is doing it. No surprise there. We humans like to be a part of something.
You might be going thru a form of konkatsu on a smaller scale; namely everyone you know is getting married. Even people you have known for eons who swore they would uphold the honor of singlehood are now taking the plunge. Not being a part of something can make you that much more anxious to join the crowd.
3. Loneliness
Irregardless of whether your friends, family or coworkers are getting married, you are just tired of being by yourself. To some degree you may have relished it before. Going where you want and when you want with no one to answer too.
It was great; for awhile anyway. Now all the things you used to enjoy don't mean much unless you have someone to enjoy them with.
All the things listed are in no way trivial. They hold real meaning and carry a lot of weight to each individual. There's nothing wrong with that. But the point is that none of these reasons should be the driving force in the desire to get married.
No doubt the marriage hunting craze in Japan brings with it a lot of fun and excitement. But it's a good bet that many are feeling the strain

By Daryl Campbell

Why Should You Hire a Wedding Planner?

2009-07-20T03:09:00.000-07:00

By Jud Yaski

So you've gotten engaged and now you're thinking of planning a grand marriage ceremony. But the question is, are you really capable of planning your big day as you've imagined it? If you really want the wedding of your dreams, shouldn't you leave it to the experts?
Yes, there are experts in the field. They're known as wedding planners. Most couples in this day and age have careers to focus on and don't have the time to plan their big day, not to mention the stress and time that is involved in planning one. Does that mean they shouldn't experience the joy of exchanging vows? No, all they have to do is hire a wedding planner to take care of everything. Most people assume that they charge exorbitant fees, but that's not true. Hiring a planner can be within your budget and they may be able to save you more money than if you planned a wedding on your own.
It is important to realize that a poorly organized wedding can be embarrassing and tacky and will be visible for all your closest friends and family to see. So, there's no point in "trying to pull it off" to see if you can plan something on your own. It's arguably the most important day in your whole life, and it's better to get it done right. Planning should be a happy and exciting affair for a couple to experience.
A Wedding Planner will leave all the exciting decisions to the couple and take care of the worrisome details that allow your special day to go smoothly. A seasoned wedding planner will have gained valuable resources over the years to get you the best discounts and offers that lay people just don't have access to. Often their fee is made up by the money savings not only in better pricing, but also in arranging the lowest cost load in times for rental companies, negotiating for load in/out times with the venue, and much more.
It is the wedding planner's responsibility to guide the couple into make the right decisions when it comes to finding a dress, theme, menu, invitations, decorations, etc. If they allow the couple to freely choose what they want and in the end it all doesn't gel together, the event will end up looking like a circus. It is the wedding planner's responsibility to make sure that every decision for the big day has the theme and the budget in mind to fulfill a tasteful and appealing wedding.
Some have made the mistake of sticking to only one color throughout the whole event which can make it appear gaudy and monotonous. Having the right dash of color and coordinating with one or two other colors to make the theme flow evenly will help create a visually appealing atmosphere. Other tasks taken care of by the consultant can include managing the seating chart to fit all your guests in, ordering the catering, chairs, seat covers, table arrangements, flowers and much more.
Before hiring someone, ask if you can see pictures of past weddings that they have organized. Also ask about payment methods they accept and what percentage of the total cost they will charge as their fee. Let your consultant know your budget from the very beginning. No marriage should start off with a mounting debt, so emphasis on sticking to the budget is important. Avoid the added stress and start from the beginning in the right direction by hiring a Wedding Planner in the San Francisco Bay Area.

By Jud Yaski

After Your Boyfriend Dumps You, Do This Quick

2009-07-17T02:01:00.000-07:00

By H. L. Archer

After your boyfriend dumps you, all you can think of is why? What did I do? You are confused, hurt, and embarrassed. What will your friends think? How are you going to explain it. Should you make up a story and put all of the blame on him or just tell the truth, that you really don't know?
First of all, you shouldn't be embarrassed and afraid to see your friends after your boyfriend dumps you. This is not an uncommon experience, it happens all the time. In fact there are probably millions of people going through the same agony that you are at this time. So, you don't need to be making up stories or placing blame right now.
No doubt, you want to get your ex boyfriend back. In order to do that you will need to know what went wrong before you can take steps to remedy the problem. But before you go about doing that, be sure can you take the truth. Some things have probably crossed your mind as to why he left you. If what you suspect was the real reason for you being dumped, can you take hearing it from him? If the answer to this is yes then here are three things that you can do.
Contact him face to face and ask him why he dumped you and if there is a chance of getting back together. If the reason that he gives you is something that you feel you can fix, tell him so and ask him for another chance. Lay your heart out to him and tell him that you are willing to work on the problem because your relationship is too special to throw away.
This is going to hurt but you are already hurt and humiliated, so what can make it worse? If he accepts, then you want to keep your promise and work on your shortcomings as hard as you can. If he refuses you and says that the relationship is over, you are no worse off than you are now.
Realize This
Having your boyfriend dump you is not the worst thing that will ever happen to you. Sometimes it can be a blessing in disguise that will lead you to a new and better way of life. On the other hand your relationship might be a match made in heaven and just needs to have a few rough spots ironed out. If you believe this to be the case, if you really love him and want him back, this method will bring him back pleading and begging for your forgiveness.

By H. L. Archer

5 Tips to Spot a Marriage in Trouble

2009-07-17T01:54:00.000-07:00

By Sarah Suton

* You no longer look to appreciate each other. Too much time together can create boredom and if this is something you are conscious of then you need to start to tackle it.
* There is a lack of communication. You or your spouses problems or difficulties seem to mean that the other one is forgotten .One of you might just be misunderstanding perhaps? A simple process here is to talk. Quite simply a situation can be misconstrued. If however you have forgotten to talk to each other then there could be lots of trouble in front of you. You have to learn how to talk about your problems and if you want to save your marriage then this is something you will have to tackle.
* Your spouse doesn't seem to notice you. Do they not appear to be interested in your day? Have they no curiosity whatsoever about what you have been dong with your time? Have they started forgetting about your birthday or your anniversary? Are these not the signs of a marriage in trouble? Do you feel that there is no focus on you now? Shouldn't they still want to do things for you? If you are feeling that your spouse just doesn't see you anymore then perhaps you should start now to resurrect your marriage. If you think this is happening then you need to take action now or it could prove terminal.
* You have stopped having fights. I don't mean the physical type. Having the occasional row can help any relationship. It demonstrates that you can communicate at the basic level perhaps and many marriages have this component. If you have stopped arguing, there can be many different reasons why but if arguments no longer trouble you and you don't engage in them or if they don't happen then it could be the sign of a marriage in trouble. It could indicate that you or your spouse are simply giving up.
* There is no intimacy. This isn't just sexual but can also mean hugging, kissing, the unexpected present, the bunch of flowers or breakfast in bed. It can be a demonstration that something is being lost. If this has started to happen fairly recently then you might find it easily sorted but it could be a factor showing a marriage in trouble.
This is the basic fact. There is still love between you but it does happen, you slowly unravel and suddenly you are left wondering, how did that happen? There are methods which you and your spouse can look at or you can try and save your marriage alone.Whichever way you look at it, if there are signs that are troubling you then you need to get some helpS and start the process to get the marriage back on track.

By Sarah Sutton

Alcoholism in a Relationship - When to Stay, When to Leave

2009-07-15T03:39:00.000-07:00

By Jonathan Huie

"Alcoholic" is one of those words that raises high emotions. We tend to think of an alcoholic as someone who is violent, dangerous, and self destructive. We may also visualize an alcoholic as being selfish and not caring about anyone but themself. Sometimes those stereotypes are appropriate, but often they aren't.
By definition, and alcoholic is someone addicted to consuming alcohol, but how they behave when intoxicated, and the extent of their addiction vary widely. In addition, the word alcoholic is often used as a condemnation of someone who drinks more than their spouse would prefer.
So when can a loving spouse reasonably remain with an alcoholic, and when is it time to leave?
With one huge difference, the criteria for deciding the future of your relationship are the same whether your spouse is alcoholic or not:
1. If your spouse is physically violent or threatens physical violence, you must leave now - today. This is true whether your partner is drinking or just angry. It doesn't matter if they promise they will never hurt you again. It doesn't even matter if they promise to get help for their addiction. Violence or threats are cause to leave right now and seek safety.
2. If you feel safe and you are happy in your relationship, you have no cause to leave. Even if your spouse drinks too much for their own good, and even if they are unwilling to address their addiction, accept them as they are, love them, and don't pester them with demands to change their behavior. Of course you stand ready to support a decision on their part to get help in defeating their addiction, but you can't live their life for them.
3. If you are seriously unhappy because of any aspect of your relationship, consider leaving your partner. Whether the cause of your suffering is your spouse's addiction, philandering, angry outbursts, demeaning attitude toward you, or any other cause, it is your responsibility to take care of yourself.
The one exception to the general rule of maximizing your own well-being occurs when your partner makes a voluntary commitment to treatment for addiction and continuously follows up on that commitment. As long as you feel safe and you continue to see commitment and improvement, hold on. If your partner's progress turns to frequent backsliding, end the battle and take care of yourself by getting out of the relationship if you are suffering.
If children are involved in your decision, understand that their best interest is not well served by living with an addictive or hostile parent.
Read Don't Stay in a Broken Marriage For the Children

By Jonathan Huie

How to Save a Dying Relationship

2009-07-15T03:37:00.000-07:00

By Melissa Haworth

We all want our romantic relationships to last. As much as possible, we hope to make it as smooth sailing as possible. Nonetheless, such ideal situation never really exists. There will come a time when disagreement between couples will surface. Problems and confrontations will arise, and soon after, what seemed to be inseparable and indestructible begins to crumble and shatter into pieces. You then wonder how you can save your dying relationship.
Of course, if you were in this case, you'd want to save the dying relationship. You'd do anything in your power to bring back the pieces together. We cannot afford to lose someone we hold so dear to our heart that's why we struggle to find ways to patch things up.
In most cases, the early stages of a relationship determine if a couple is meant to last. It is where you get to know your partner better and that is the time when you decide if you can accept everything that your partner is. This is the time when you try to adjust yourself toward your partner and you also work on compromising some of your own ideals and preferences for the sake of attuning your lifestyle, and probably your mindset, parallel to your partner.
At times, conflicts may arise and you may at times feel that things aren't working out the way they're supposed to. Then you start getting frustrated, and slowly, your ties begin to loosen up, beginning to separate the bonds that once were so strong.
It is a sad ending if such happens. Sometimes, pride gets in the way. Because of anger and frustration, you end up losing the relationship.
The thing is, because of too much pride and anger you forget to realize the worth of your partner. You tend to disregard everything that you've been through. More often than not, you realize these things but a little late than necessary. This will bring you much pain than you've ever felt which will make you think what you could have done instead.
There's a lot you can do to save your relationship. However, no matter what plan of action you choose, the success of saving the relationship wells from both of your conscious effort to make things work.
Both of you must want to patch things up. You must take time to understand the situation, accept the things you've done wrong, and start with a determined stance of making things better for the sake of love. At times, your partner may want to have some space and time to mull things over and that is perfectly okay.
Communication is key; everything works out when there is communication. Let your partner know what you want and don't want, and what you're willing to compromise. Make your partner feel that you want the relationship to last and that you are willing to give anything just to make it work.
Coming into terms to save a dying relationship may be complex for some but it is relatively easy. This stems from your sincerity and genuine desire to be with the one you love. If you have that in your heart, then nothing can be a problem.
Just break up?
Want to know what DEADLY mistakes you could be making right now that's driving your partner away?

By Melissa Haworth

How to Get Ex Back When it Seems Hopeless - Your Ex Would Be Hooked Onto You After This Point

2009-07-15T03:35:00.000-07:00

By Jason Leading

Your partner is your 'ex' for some real good reasons. You are distraught and are looking for answers, but somehow you can't fathom the underlying causes of the split. Well, look no further, all the answers are within you and if you address them satisfactorily your 'ex' will once again become your lover. Dissect your past. Take break and analyze your behavior. If you have had a domineering trait that you did not check then you need to address this issue immediately. Remember your partner is also your best friends and friends don't like to be dominated. A relationship is successful only when it is between two equals. Get professional help if you need to. This will help you make better person even if you fail to attract your ex back. Eat humble pie. If after seeking professional help and making the necessary changes in your attitude and behavior you still are not able to make a favorable impression on your ex then it means you screwed up real bad. The best thing under these circumstances is to eat humble pie and apologize unconditionally. Call up your ex and express your wish to meet him/her to apologize. This act will not only soothe frayed nerves but will also massage your ex's ego. However, be sincere in your apology and do not expect your ex to come onboard immediately. Transform yourself. Having followed the above mentioned two tips, you need to now devote some time to better yourself. Lose weight if you have grown thick at the waist, wear smart clothes, change your hairstyle, and color your hair.....the works. You should do all that you can to attract members of the opposite sex. You should not only look new on the outside but you should also feel it from within. Once your ex realizes that you have changed for the better it will be only a matter of time before he/she welcomes you back in a relationship.

By Jason Leading

Do You Suffer Because of a Bad Breakup? 4 Simple Tricks Which Will End Your Breakup Pain Quickly!

2009-07-15T03:31:00.000-07:00

By Jason Leading

In spite of all your efforts to get back with your ex, you did not succeed and the pain of the break up is too fresh to handle. That is true! But you cannot keep wiping tears and need to brave the situation. Go party with friends. This is the time to spend with your friends. Go out with them and party and have lots of fun. There is no time to brood over things like the breakup. Being with friends will help you tide over this difficult phase in your life. The enjoyment of laughing, talking and having fun and joking with your friends will help you forget, even though temporarily, about your heart break. Shopping is a big time healer. You'll be amazed at how big a healer shopping is. Even if you do not feel in the mood to shop for yourself right now or do not have the need to, just walk through the many malls you have in the vicinity. When you look at all those people out there it will act as a soother to your troubled nerves and heart. Take up a past-time you enjoy. For ages you were not able to make the time to enjoy one of your favorite activities. Well now you can turn your attention to this sector and really let go of yourself. You will not only enjoy the activity be it a sport or swimming or other social activity! You will get to meet new people and enjoy your new found activity all the more. Join a library. A library will help you catch up with all the reading you had missed out on. This is the right time to join a library and spend as much time as you can to read the latest magazines on whatever your favorite subject is. Alternately if you're a painter or have some other creative hobby indulge wholeheartedly in that. These activities are time consuming, as they need your complete concentration and devotion.

By Jason Leading

Taking the Leap - From Friends to Lovers

2009-07-14T11:30:00.000-07:00

By Ruth Purple

The transition from friends to lovers can be difficult to do especially if you have been friends for a long time. You know that it can also be quite scary for a girl to hear that her guy best friend is falling in love with her. So the best you can do is to endure a little more time hiding your real feelings and continue being one of the "girlfriends". I can only imagine what a torture it can be hearing her lusting about this guy or talking about how great the date or the sex was. Just think that enduring this pain has a greater purpose.
Taking her by surprise that you're inlove with her can do more harm than good. You will be risking the long and beautiful friendship. If you don't do it right your friend might think that you took advantage of her friendship just to get close to her and get her attention. Your attraction to her can be misinterpreted as betrayal and manipulation to win her interest. So if you want to change lanes from friends to lovers, do it correctly and with finesse. First thing that you should do is to think and try to put your place in her place.
How would you feel if the person you truly trust and feel comfortable with and considers as "one of the guy" now sees you differently? Predictably, you will now feel strange and uncomfortable towards her. You can no longer express yourself to her because you're careful not to hurt her feelings. You can now kiss your wonderful friendship goodbye. If you have thought deeply of the consequences of leaping from friends to lovers, you might need to slow down and create an action plan. The good news is, if you want to do that change from friends to lovers, you have the advantage.
You know her more than any other guy in the planet. All you have to do is give her that attention she needs. Take care of her, pamper her. Let your actions do the talking. The reason she puts you in a friend category is because you treated her like one of her girlfriend treats her. Exert an extra effort. Open the door for her, extend the chair when she's about to sit down, download her favorite music in her ipod, help her with her errands, put a coat on her when its cold. Let other people notice how a great guy you are and let her be the envy of her girlfriends.
When she talks about the guy she's crazy about, listen and naturally inject your own opinions on what you would do if you're in a relationship. For instance, you can say something like "if I found the girl of my dreams, I will pamper her and take care of her the way I take care of you. I will love her and do my best not to hurt her. I will protect her and make her smile always. I will not just a lover to her but a best friend, just like us..." In making a transition from friends to lovers, do it gradually.
Bit by bit let her see your potential as a mate. Let her see you in a different light. Let her see that you can be more than friends and that turning friends to lovers can be a good thing.

By Ruth Purple

Building a Lasting and Vibrant Relationship

2009-07-14T11:28:00.000-07:00

By Mary Okonji

I kindly request that you permit me a space in your widely read column in other to share my views on the need to build a strong friendship with your partner before consummating your relationship. Friendship according to the oxford dictionary is defined as a close, lasting and lifelong friendship between two friends. It is also a relationship born when two people receive and share love and mutual affection for each other. As it is nurtured, it grows to become stronger as they both give to each other.
A friend is ---- Someone who is nice and good to you. Someone you like to spend quality and precious time with. Someone you can trust. Someone who helps you to get up when you are down. Everyone desires a friend because friendship makes your yoke easy.
It is in friendship that you know if you can be with someone, if you can trust them, respect them and spend your life with them. There are different levels of friendship namely,
Strangers: In this level of relationship, you hardly know the person but you do exchange pleasantries with him/her whenever you get to come in contact with each other on the way.
Acquaintance: Is a platonic relationship you have with someone you slightly or hardly know. You may be familiar with this person by relating or paying each other visits to your various homes but you barely know details or information about him/her. So many arranged Marriages are acquaintance based. It is also known to be a game of chance, because such relationships were not allowed to fully develop. It is not advisable to jump from this stage of relationship into Marriage because such a union could be very disastrous and could bring upon a negative effect on the lives of the two people who are involved in it. It is better to take your time before rushing into a relationship, because once you rush in there is every possibility for you to also rush out.
Close Friendship: At this level, companionship begins, emotional feelings sets in, you begin to realize that by constant keeping in touch with each other, you begin to share mutual feelings and interests. You begin to discuss issues with this other person to a certain extent. It is necessary and mandatory to give time to your relationship so that you two can become familiarized with each other. There is also a point to note that at this stage of the relationship that it is not advisable to ask for the other person's hand in Marriage or accept proposals.
Intimate Relationship: it is a level of relationship where you want to fully get committed and deeply involved with this new found catch of yours. In this kind of relationship you not only want to have sex with this person, but you also want to have an intimate union with that person such as telling or revealing to your partner your innermost secrets, plans and dreams which you have not disclosed with anyone before not even with any member of your family or friends. Wanting to take responsibilities of the other person's needs, rendering a selfless service to him/her, sharing in his pains and joys and a whole lot of others to numerous to mention.
Marriage: In this level and final stage of relationship: one has to continue nurturing the union. For the fact that it has successfully ended in marriage is no gain saying that the relationship cannot still pack up, if there is no daily renewal of their friendship or commitment which they once swore to each other to keep. The marriage is bound to head to the rocks.

By Mary Okonji

When Love Hurts

2009-07-14T11:24:00.000-07:00

By Michael Sean Symonds

So much has been said of friendship and love that it seems on one level redundant to even write about it. In my own life I have found insight, understanding, awareness and suffering, as I engage the pursuit of its experience and the never ending conversations that occur around the dance of its expression.
Perhaps where there is loss and grieving around friendship and love, it is only then that we seek a deeper level of its understanding, meaning, expression, need and purpose in life? Perhaps a hunger or desperation inside guides and motivates our behaviors in seeking, engaging and celebrating its expression; to continue to find deeper layers of its company within all our relations?
One thing is very clear; the greatest killer to love, whether it is in the friendship of another, or to the companion we may call our "significant other", is the attitude with which we bring or develop. How do we show up in friendship and love? Do we look for and focus on "what is wrong" with its expression or do we inquire and explore as to "what might be missing" within its potential? Do we pursue an imagined possibility or do we shrink from a shadow of doubt that may exist within our mind? Do we risk exposing our inner most thoughts and fears with the hope that in that exposure, we will be seen, heard, and embraced for Who We Are, or do we hide pieces of ourselves that will only, ever, continue to be shrouded in the shadow of past pain or unresolved emotion that has anchored itself to our heart? Are we willing to risk the unknown territory of its experience or will we retreat to the confines of a conditioned mind and heart? Do we force this relationship to fit into a box like any or all previous boxes, or do we allow the gift of its presence to be wrapped and unfolded, uniquely, originally, unconditionally?
A common thread within our existence is that we often suffer greatly as we stumble in the pursuit of friendship and love. There appears to be a rhythm and flow to friendship and love, and to find another, a friend or lover who rapports to and with the rhythm and flow of our own pace appears to be both the challenge and the ideal. When it happens though, when friendship or love does occur, a priceless magic can be experienced in the moment as one Soul connects to another; as a bond is established on the deepest of unseen, non verbal levels.
The actress Bridget Nielsen once said:
"the love story is always the same; I keep finding myself a step ahead or a step behind..."
I am no expert in this dance; I have fallen in friendship AND in love, more times than not. As a witness though, and an often unwilling participant in the "search" for friendship and love, I have made a few observations while on this path; a few insights which I share with you now; 7 reasons why love hurts...
1) Expectation: Expectation of any kind kills the present moment. When you can show up without expectation, you can be in the present moment; you can navigate the ebb and flow of the present moment. If you're mind is busy, fixated on the past, or imagining a particular future, how can you ever hope to respond to the rhythm and flow of the moment? How can you touch, taste, feel, see or hear the pulse of friendship or love in this present moment now?
The present moment is going to happen and it will happen with, or without your attention or permission. When your attention is on the present moment, when it is freed from the fear of the past, or the seduction of a particular future expectation, you will be available to the present moment; you will navigate the present moment. You will thrive in the present moment, and be able to receive the gift of-the-present, in-this-momentary-now.
For every expectation there is a hidden need. We are distracted and deceived when we only focus on the expectation and not the need. When we can become aware of our own needs we will be less inclined to project those needs onto another; in friendship or in love. When we are clear of which needs are of importance while also surrendering those that have little or no value, we will be once again be free to show up without the influence of an unconscious, agenda.
2) Vulnerability: Vulnerability is the naked direct experience and expression of who and what we are in the moment, without judgment, evaluation or significance being placed on that experience or that expression of the moment. When we can express ourselves freely, honestly, in this present moment now, without the fear of being judged or evaluated by our self or another, there will be intimacy. Intimacy is an invitation; in-to-me-see, now.
The practice of Being vulnerable in the moment requires great courage. We don't "do" vulnerability; we are vulnerable or we are not. Where there is courage there is also freedom; freedom to express one self with or in spite of the judgments or evaluations that may or may not be present in self or another. In the vulnerability of this moment, in the blatant honesty of this moment, there is a chance for the demise or consummation of that friendship or love; will it flicker out like a candle in the wind, or will it foster a new level of trust, understanding, compassion and love within that relationship? Will you risk the unmasking of a false self in order to reveal your true Self?
When we swim in the vulnerability of the moment; when we give and are received completely and unconditionally in that moment, hearts can open. Minds can be freed of one thousand illusions, emotions can be transformed from a source pain and suffering into the innocence of Being. In this vulnerability, in this receiving, a space can be created for deeper levels of our inner Being to be experienced and expressed for both the speaker and the listener. In this moment, there is the potential for the speaker and the listener to merge, to become One.
3) Fear: Fear is a projection of the past or imagined future onto the present moment. As long as we are in our story of "what is going on" or "what could go on", we will be an unwilling subject to fear. In fact it's safe to say that all "adverse emotions" that bind and restrict the flow of friendship or love, can only exist while we are in a story.
As long as we are in our story; as long as we continue to act out from a story, we will NOT be in the present moment. This of course can be perfectly ok, if you are willing to be vulnerable, or if you've been blessed with a listener, a friend, or a lover, who is willing to receive you as you are.
There are times in life when the burden of our story becomes overwhelming, when it will overshadow our ability to simply show up, and Be present. While we may not be aware of this fact and the impact of our story in its ability to overshadow the present moment, most, are very familiar with its experience when it takes the form of overwhelm, where we suffer.
Our story is who we imagine ourselves to be. It combines memories of our past with our perception of who we are in the present moment. It is the assumption and meaning we give to self and the experiences that appear to occur to self, after they have occurred. It is a very personal, self engendered, tainted narration that is filtered through the mind. It is a subjective version of reality that we call "my story" and "my life".
The story can only exist in our mind; it can only exist in the past. It takes the form of memories, associations, perceptions, ideas, notions, thoughts, feelings, beliefs and conclusions that arise out of the narration we give to all experience. Our story is based on how we see ourselves, how we see the world, and how we imagine the world see's us. When we live in the story, we live in the projections of "why me?", "how come?", "it should", "you should", "they should" and "we should". We lose ourselves in a conversation of: "if only", "what if", "it was", "may be", "when I", "when he", "when she" and "when they". We lose ourselves in the justification of a narrative based on "why".
The seduction of the story lies in its ability to provide us with "an out", a story line that is based on a dichotomy. If the story is labeled "bad" then we can also have the possibility of "good". If there is "lack" there is also a chance for "prosperity", and if there is "sadness" there is always a chance for greater levels of "happiness". This is the nature of the story; it is based on the coexistence of opposites: if there is "a down" there must also be an "up"; and you know how much we want, need, and desire the "ups" of our story in life? The degree to which we identify with our story is the degree to which we will suffer.
Much of the pain and suffering we experience in our story is a result of the meanings we give to our story. We fail to realize that at some level, any meaning can be given to any story. Detachment and freedom occur when there is a realization that we can have an experience without giving it a story; without interpreting or assigning our experience with a narration or meaning that can only come from the mind and the assumptions made by a blind, mind. We need to avoid at all costs the story our mind may presently be spinning, where we will only, ever, get caught up in the conspiracy of its conjecture and illusion.
Freedom occurs when we come to a place in awareness where no meaning is given to any experience. Without meaning, there can be no story, when there is no story, there will be no suffering. We can be in the story, but not of it.
So, how do you see yourself?
How do you see the world?
And, how do you think the world see's you?
4) Acceptance: It was never about understanding. Understanding was, is, and will always be, the boo-bee prize; a necessary guest that always arrives late, to the mind. Where there is acceptance, there is love; what more would one need or want as a foundation to any friendship or love?
Awareness is the purest form of acceptance; where the totality of what is, is. Where there is awareness there is spontaneous, inner acceptance; there is response to the ebb and flow of the moment. Where there is awareness all external acceptance or not, becomes secondary; icing on the cake.
Acceptance thrives in awareness; it takes the form of witnessing what is. When you witness what is, there is total acceptance without reason or justification. In the innocence of awareness you are, and all is. While the mind may need to calculate the "whys" and "wherefore's" of being; awareness as acceptance, celebrates the moment as it is, without judgment, without evaluation, without significance. In awareness the value of acceptance is elevated by spontaneous compassion, effortless understanding, and unbounded Being. In awareness there is no cognition of "this" or "that". In awareness, there is the simplicity and freedom of Being.
5) Attention: When we give something our attention it will flourish and thrive, when we withdraw our attention it will wither and die. Friendship and love can only exist in this present moment now.
Where is your attention?
If your attention is on the past, you will also be in the past. If your attention is on fear, you will also be in fear. If your attention is on doubt, you will also be in doubt. If your attention is on this present moment now; there can only be love.
Where is your attention, now?
Is it lost in a memory of the past?
Is it overwhelmed by the story of who you imagine yourself to be?
Perhaps it is seduced by the distraction, fantasy, or romance, of what might be?
Is your attention placed "out there" into the foreground of your worldly experience, or does it settle gently into the quiet, still, background of Being?
There is great freedom and power in the quality of your attention. When your attention is in the present moment and your mind is not clouded by unimportant things, you are free to navigate the day to day circumstance of your life. You are free to simply Be.
The quality of your attention is affected by objects of your attention. When your attention is anchored to the background of Being, it enables you to witness what is; without judgment, without evaluation, without significance. When your attention is anchored to the background of Being ~ the One who is Being attentive; your attention will spontaneously illuminate what is vital, necessary, and relevant to the elevation and evolution of your life and the friendship or love that exists or could exist, in this present moment now.
If your attention is scattered, distracted by form and phenomena, distracted by the circumstances or experiences that lie in the foreground of your life, your attention will be bound. Your attention will fixate on unimportant details and you will swim in the delusion of your mind and the distracting thoughts that appear as that mind.
Attention energizes and activates the objects of your attention. It gives life to the objects of your attention. Anything that has a beginning, middle, and ending is an object, including something as subtle as your thoughts or feelings. Your body/mind is an object; everything contained within your world is an object. Your ideas of friendship and love are also concepts; subjective ideas that exist in time and space. They are transient in nature, they come and go. This narration is also concept: it has a beginning, middle, and an end. Will you highlight the transient, bound objects with your attention, or will you highlight the infinite, eternal, unbound, background of your Being?
When your attention is focused, anchored to the background of Being, you will simultaneously be fully absorbed, awake, and aware, to the present moment now. You will not be distracted by obstacles, which can only, ever, exist in the foreground of your life experience or mind. Quiet attention, gathers and informs, organizes and orchestrates what is. In the stillness of attention; when you are standing still in attention, you have access to energy and information which can inform Who You Are and who you will Be. With attention, any relationship will flourish; without attention, it will wither and die.
6) Listening: We all want to be heard; deeply. We all want someone to listen to our story; to be a witness to our story, in spite of our story. Can you listen without assumption? Can you listen without judgment, evaluation or significance? Can you Be present in your listening: to my sadness and pain; to my purpose and joys; to my fears and delusions; to my hopes and dreams? In friendship or love, are you ready and willing to be present in your listening, with what is, what was, and what might be? In your attentive listening, can you celebrate and honor the humanity of my life and the humility of your own?
When we listen innocently with intention, we create the space for acceptance to unfold. To give complete attention to a friend or lover, by listening attentively is to give one the opportunity to be heard; perhaps for the very first time. It is a gift. It is a precious gift of unconditional love. In friendship and in love, the power of attentive listening can transform and heal. When you listen, you provide affirmation, validation, and appreciation. In your attentive listening, you demonstrate: commitment, care, concern and compassion. In your taking the time to listen; in your making the time to listen, you give and receive the gift that lies within listening. In your listening you find a common, neutral ground; you find your own humanity and the humanity of another; you momentarily share a vision of what is, creating the space for what can potentially Be.
7) There are many "reasons" why love hurts. The greatest of all reasons is that love can only hurt where there is already hurting. The most painful of all hurts is to acknowledge and accept; to realize that the hurt that you are feeling appears to exist within you. The perceived wound of hurt lies in the heart and awareness of the one who is hurting. What is "outside" can only, ever, reinforce what is perceived to be "inside". The same hurt you see or feel in another will reinforce and affirm the symptoms of a deeper wound of hurt that lies within you. It's a perceived wound, so deep and familiar; an experience and memory so real, that you will believe it's you. You will identify "it", as "you".
You are not your hurt. You are not the one who is hurting. Prior to the word hurt; you are. During the perceived wounding of hurt, you are, and after the hurting, you will Be. To be free from hurt, the imagined "you" must shift its attention from the wound of hurt, to the One who is observing or witnessing that hurt. "You" must shift "your" attention from the foreground of "your" life experience where the hurting occurs, to the background of Being which lies beyond all hurt.
You must witness the wound of hurt from the background of Being, not the foreground of hurt, in order to realize that you are not the hurt; nor, are you the hurting. You must innocently identify with the peace that lies in the essence of Being; that exists before, during, and after the hurt, to know that you are the peace of Being, and not the hurt or the hurting.
The violence of hurt will happen on "you" or "to another", but the hurt always lies in the mind and heart of the one who is hurting. The One who is observing the hurt was there before the hurt. The One who is witnessing the hurt will always be present when there appears to be hurt, and the One who is aware, will be always be there for every progressive moment after the hurt has occurred.
Hurt happens "on you", not "to you", or "in you". As long as you continue to identify yourself as, with, or to the "hurt", the "you" you imagine yourself to be will suffer. If your attention is on the hurt, you will see hurt, feel hurt, think hurt and believe in hurt. You will be the hurt. Hurt is a story that you give attention, meaning and life to. As long as there is a story, there will be hurt. If you pull your attention from the story of hurt to the background of Being, you will be free to Be. The bound becomes un-bound; what presently appears vincible becomes invincible.
There are times in life where you may appear to experience hurt beyond measure; the kind of hurt that makes you imagine, believe and feel you are irreplaceably broken inside. It will feel as though priceless parts of your Being have been stolen, or even died inside; forever lost to the ash of an experience or memory of what was, is, or might have been. In those moments where friendship or love seems absent, when it seems to hurt the most, you might be tempted to focus on the story of hurt only.
The greatest hurt, lies in the story you subsequently create around your perceived hurt. It lies in the thoughts, memories, emotions, perceptions and associations that arise out of your story of hurt. Hurt lives in the story of hurt; hurt thrives in the story of hurt. The story of your hurt will become more dangerous than any survived event could ever possibly be. You will suffer more in the story of your hurt than you ever possibly could do, in the experience of hurt. Hurt as an experience, has a beginning, middle and ending. The story of hurt can live on forever in the minds and hearts of the hurting.
The stories we tell ourselves about the perception of hurt and who we are, can morph into dishonest betrayals to our Being. They can become selectively edited and sanitized versions of reality; something we subjectively believe to be true. The danger in the allegations of our story is what we decide, assume, and believe about the experiences we have, that become our stories, which we then identify to and with. As we lose our attention to the details of our story, we forsake and abandon Being for the mis-beliefs and lies we tell ourselves.
In our stories we pretend and we imagine, we fear and we judge, we assume and we minimize Who We Are for what we imagine ourselves to be. We distort what is, and create a version of reality that perpetuates the deepest conclusions, illusions and delusions we have about a self that lives and breathes in our day to day existence. What is inferred and implied in those stories become the foundation of agreements that we then live our life to. We derail and deny the existence of Being for the sake of an agreement we made to our story of self, and we suffer.
While the story may justify; while it may allow us to cope, it will only, ever, provide a false sense of security and perceived strength from the perceived chaos of the moment or past experience. The loss of attention to Being only amplifies the loss of equanimity within our lives; impersonal Being is substituted for a very personal philosophy: the mythology of an "I".
All stories are acquired. We gather and adopt all hurt. The story of hurt is an internal commitment; an agreement that was made. Do we question and confront these stories? Do we examine the agreements we have made? Do we investigate the lies we tell ourselves? Will the legacy of your life be a story, or will it be the discovery and truth of Being?
You are so much more than your perceived hurt. You are so much more than the perceived story of your hurting. If you want to keep on hurting then allow yourself to stay focused on the story of why you are hurting. If you want to elevate the wound of hurting, let the mind focus and fester; let it harbor on the details of those hurts that have become your story, that you imagine yourself to be.
If you want to move beyond hurt, you will need to shift your attention from the story of the one who appears to be hurting, to the background of your Being. In Being, you will find freedom from hurt. In Being, you will once again be reminded of the peace that you were and are, before the hurting began. The "you" that you imagined yourself to be, will be replaced by a "you", you could never have possibly imagined. In Being there is no hurt. In Being there can be no hurting. When you are in the present moment, there is no story and there is no hurt. The story of hurt must disappear; the one who is hurting must also disappear.
The story of friendship and love appears to be always the same, you might find yourself a step behind, or even imagine yourself to be a step ahead, but the potential and possibility always exists that you will on occasion step outside the "up" and the "down" of its quest, to find the magic of what can Be.
Are you hurting in friendship or love?
The feeling of hurt is learned and there is always something to unlearn, in order to free yourself from that hurting.
Who came first, you or the hurt?
Until then, be gentle with your self. Be kind to yourself; and if you are hurting you can trust that with a little attention, that unknown part of yourself will become available to play its greatest role; to move you from that perceived hurt of experience, into happiness. To move the you you imagine yourself to be, beyond the experience of happiness, into the bliss of Being.
Until then, you might want to allow? There is something very precious in the field of allowing; something innocent, and something very, very, life affirming. Allowing nurtures, it embraces, encourages and elevates all contained within the spectrum of its comfort and light. Allowing, expresses the deepest aspects of our Being were body and mind, heart and Spirit, become One; where we can celebrate the moment of now, with the Spirit of yes.
As we allow; in our natural allegiance to allowing, the mechanics of a dualistic mind come to an end. In the spontaneous expression of allowing we abandon judgment; the mind and its notions are relegated to mere proposition. In allowing, we withdraw our attention from premature, cognitive, commitments. We withdraw our attention from ideas and philosophies that have no place in Being; that are not needed for the cultivation, experience or expression of Being.
In allowing; the experience and expression of our essence can percolate through the perceived obstacles to friendship and love; through the struggles, the hurts, the strife the gains and losses of friendship and love. In allowing; our essence can move from its marginalized position in the background of our awareness, to become the innocence that lives in the foreground of our awareness. It will thrive, to become our awareness.
Notice or observe "your" experience of hurt...
What observer is observing that hurt?
Where do those thoughts of hurt arise from?
Where do those feelings of hurt subside to?
There are thoughts of hurt and there are feelings of hurt; but who is it that is hurting?
Who is that "I"?
Be gentle in your allowing.
Be innocent in your friendship and love...
About the author
Michael Sean Symonds is a facilitator and self-published author of A Path of Relationship, 1998, and Zen Shredding, 2008. Both books are about Personal Growth and Spirituality. His training includes Polarity Therapy/counseling [1989], and Rebirthing [1991]. In 2001, he became a certified Primordial Sound Meditation instructor with Deepak Chopra and The Chopra Centre for Well Being.
Michael facilitates one-on-one and group explorations in personal growth, healing and consciousness. His intention: to mentor others through his creativity, teaching, speaking and writing; his desire: to elevate and ennoble the lives of others by inspiring them to nurture the wisdom of the Soul. His studies continue, based on the work of Stephen Wolinsky [ founder: Quantum Psychology ] and the late sage/seer Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj.

By Michael Sean Symonds

Love Triggers - Know What Makes Men Tick

2009-07-13T10:16:00.000-07:00

Make a Guy Fall in Love - Gain His Heart and Keep it For Good

2009-07-13T10:14:00.000-07:00

By Tina L. Jones

Are you a girl who has what it takes to make a guy fall in love with her? How is it that some women are just magically able to make men chase after them? Would you love to gain that secret knowledge they have? Well, any girl can learn to make a guy fall in love with her. Keep reading for some guaranteed tips to gaining his heart.
Men sometimes act like all that they think about and care about is how a woman looks. It can be frustrating for the average girl to always feel that she is being compared to women in movies and magazines. But in reality, men want very similar things in partners that men do. Guess what your guy wants in order to make him fall in love?
First, he wants to be physically attracted to you. There is no getting around the fact that physical attraction is key to romantic attachment. It is not the most important thing, but it is important. The great thing is that you do not have to be a supermodel for your guy to think you are hot. You have some great assets, so learn how to flaunt them! Always try to look your best, stay healthy, and have a great attitude and he will be attracted to your looks.
Second, he wants to have a friend in you. That's right, life isn't always about romance and candlelight and love songs. Even men don't want a girl who thinks about nothing but sex all of the time. In the real world, we need to have partners that encourage us and support us and who we can trust as our best friends.
Third, he wants to have to work to impress you. Believe it or not, men aren't interested in women who will fall at their feet for nothing. Do you want to be told that you are loved by a guy you hardly know? Well, he doesn't either. Take time and don't offer yourself up to him. Let the relationship develop at a natural pace. It is easier to make a guy fall in love with you by holding back than by smothering him with your love.
Imagine what if you could make any man adore you, chase you, love you, and commit to you? Click Unforgettable Woman Advice and learn 77 Secrets that ninety percent of women have never heard. You have got to see this!
This article is contributed by Tina Jones. Tina is part of the Unforgettable Woman Publishing Team. She works together with founder Alexandra Fox and writes dating/relationship articles for women who want to understand male psychology, how to attract men, and find true love. You can find more about Unforgettable Woman Publishing by visiting their website.

By Tina L. Jones

Women Over 40 - Why It's Not Too Late For Love

2009-07-13T10:12:00.000-07:00

By Joel Peter Vitug

In 1971, Carole King released the record of the year, It's Too Late. A classic standard, it has always resonated with women. It is a timeless song about falling in love, staying in love, and falling out of love.
Over 30 years later, women over 40 have grown up with the award-winning song. They have experienced love, worked hard for love, and sometimes, fallen out of it. However, unlike the song, it's never too late for women to find new love; or for those lucky enough to be in love, to improve current relationships.
Contrary to popular belief, at the wonderful age of 40, women do not have excess baggage; they have experience. Women who have reached this milestone have an understanding of life and its ups and downs, from the giddiness of falling in love for the first time to the heartbreak of letting go. Time and again, women over 40 have proven themselves more secure, more stable, and yes, more savvy at life and love.
The technology available for women over 40 has opened doors for new love that have never been available before. The Internet has made searching for new love easier than ever. From matchmaking sites to forums, from dating communities to missed connections, going online has given women over 40 wider playing fields. They now have bolder ways to connect and more chances to find relationships, whether stable, long-term attachments or instantaneous and fleeting acquaintances.
The online community has also provided one key element to women over 40 looking for love and looking to sustain and improve relationships: a network of experienced and knowledgeable women who share the same perspective of hope and optimism. Women over 40 are not over the hill. Rather, they are strong, successful, sensitive women who just happened to belong to a number.
Online communities and forums are great sounding boards for the frustrations of keeping the flame alive. Especially for women over 40 who are in committed, long-term relationships, forums are an easy and accessible way to narrate experiences, ask for opinion, and share relationship highs and lows to mentors and friends.
The current openness in society has also helped more mature women look past age as a number and define it as an attitude when dealing with new love and ongoing relationships. There is no more stigma attached to May-December relationships, and more and more women over 40 are now enjoying the same thrill of finding a new flame as if they were 20, except with a brighter and fresher perspective.
So who says women over 40 are too late? As a number, 40 is an age of maturity and perspective. Women now have greater freedom to select potential and sustain existing partners. As an attitude, 40 can be anywhere from 16 to 65, and the outlook all depends on how women over 40 see life and live life. The important thing is to connect with women of the same age, with whom one could share experience, advice, and inspiration.
The i40 Club is a community of women over 40, who, like all women of that age, have lived life and are now sharing advice, mentors, and tools to help other women at the same crossroad in their lives. Filled with information ranging from health, relationship, friendship, family, inspiration, to just plain funny resources, the i40 Club is relevant because the topics are chosen by women over 40 for women over 40.

By Joel Peter Vitug

Falling in Love Signs - Found Out If He's Already in Love With You Now!

2009-07-13T10:10:00.000-07:00

By Mark H. Hamilton

Believe it or not, it's quite easy to detect fall in love signs - guys can get pretty predictable when they start to get totally into a girl. Of course, there are subtle signs that will keep you guessing - but these things add spice and more excitement to everything. So, to end your stress, here are the more obvious fall in love signs he may be sending right this very minute:
He checks up on you constantly. A guy in love will definitely find means to communicate with you - all the time. If he visits you, calls you or sends you text messages all day - he's definitely smitten.Attract boys more by playing a little hard to get - this will definitely drive them nuts - and more challenged for the feat.
He's always available 24/7. You want hangout and you let him know - and he's like an eager boy asking if you could meet up right way. Nothing can be a stronger fall in love sign. When a guy falls in love with you, he wants to be with you all the time and feels good when you're around. So watch out when he's always available - no matter what time of the day (or night!) it is.
He cracks a joke and teases you. Guys can be pretty nervous around girls when they've started to fall in love. And one way to ease the tension is by cracking a joke and teasing you nonstop. It's one outlet for them to grab your attention - as if looking for some sort of approval on your part. If he does, you have one lovesick dude right here wanting you to fall in love right back.

By Mark J. Hamilton

Help! I Still Find My Ex Boyfriend Attractive

2009-07-13T10:03:00.001-07:00

By Ozioma Ebirim

The art of falling in love is wonderful to those who are experiencing it. Some relationships could be described as heaven on earth. Everybody wishes for this type of union with a loved one but it is not always so. It takes a lot to build a lasting and loving relationship so it is always devastating when something that looked so real and unending falls apart. A breakup leaves a sour taste in the mouth and scars in its wake.
A breakup is not to say the least a very low time in someone's life. It paints a picture of an impossible situation without a ray of hope. However, even though it may seem like that, there is ALWAYS hope. Several ways abound in which you can have your love back. In as much as you could, you have to be careful because a lot of mistakes could be made along the way in your bid to perfect your act. Before you take this step, you may want to ask yourself whether or not you truly want him back and you need to make sure you avoid making some common mistakes. If you sincerely WANT your ex boyfriend back: *Resist the urge to call immediately after the breakup. *Do not BEG him to take you back. *Do not promise to fix everything and change for the better. *Do not try contacting him through email or text messages. *Try not to convince him you are the love of his life.
The above mentioned ways are not likely effective ways in getting your ex boyfriend back. This is so because soon after the breakup, the tension between the two of you is so thick that it would only take a sharp arrow or sword to break through meaning that anything you say or do could potentially make the situation worse than it already is.
It pays to have a proven plan or system in place in order to win back an ex boyfriend because it will help you avoid making common mistakes while at the same time suggesting correct steps to move forward to get your ex-boyfriend back.Getting your ex back at all cost is the smartest and wisest decision you can make. There is nothing to be ashamed of after all, what is life if you cannot have fun whenever you wish?

By Ozioma Ebirim

How to Get a Girlfriend - Using Super Powerful Girlfriend Getter Strategies

2009-07-13T10:00:00.000-07:00

By Derek Rake

Dude, if you feel that you're the only one wanting to find a quality girlfriend, you are sorely mistaken. There are a lot more men who are dreaming of getting a girlfriend out there, and you're not alone at all! However, what sets you apart from those other guys is your willingness to read more about the finer points of finding a girlfriend easily. The fact is, you can improve your chances of getting through to that special lady if you use these simple methods that deliver astounding results quickly...
How to Start Looking for a Girlfriend? Use These Strategies
First Step. Skill Development. Attracting and ultimately dating women is not that easy if you don't have a lot of confidence in you. Building real self confidence means learning how to approach, creating compelling conversations and getting the skills needed to develop rapport with girls.
Second Step. Describe your IDEAL. Dating a quality girl starts when you know the traits you are looking for in a girlfriend. Discover the EXACT type of girl you want to date so you can meet her. Take this time to reflect and enumerate the characteristics of your ideal girl. With these in mind, you can sift through the random and find that particular girl you want.
Third Step. Determine where your ideal girl hangs out. You already know her traits or at least some of them. Now, you have an idea where to start looking. If she's the sporty type, you can bet that she's in a gym somewhere, learning yoga or working out on the treadmill. If she's a food lover like you, you want to hang out in culinary schools and take cooking lessons yourself!
Fourth Step. Approach your type frequently. Have you heard it said that finding women you like is a game of numbers? The more girls you approach, the more likely you will find the one for you. Don't worry about rejection, just keep at it!
Fifth Step. Hypnotize her. There is a method to build instant rapport with a woman, and it involves hypnosis. In particular, there's a technique we call fractionation, which gets the job done fast. Once you get this right, she will be falling for you like a ton of bricks in a matter of minutes.
But before you use hypnosis techniques, you must heed this warning...
Fractionation is considered as a 'dark art' tactic which is the basis of hypnosis-based seduction, and while controversial, it is known to be one of the most effective tactics ever invented by underground seductionists.

These psychology tactics are highly unconventional techniques that are used by the secret elite in the seduction community. Use at your own risk. I personally vouch for the effectiveness of these tactics, but care must be taken as they could be outright dangerous in the hands of the unscrupulous.

By Derek Rake

3 Mistakes Women Usually Do During Sex

2009-07-13T09:56:00.000-07:00

By Mark J. Hamilton

Most women find themselves frustrated and disappointed when it comes to sex --- and the blaming it all to their men. Have you ever wondered if maybe you're doing it all wrong? You need a little self-examination and ask yourself if you're also doing your share when it comes to sex. Making love is one of the most pleasurable enjoyable activities for lovers you should definitely be grateful of. Below are the top three mistakes women usually do during sex --- find out how to make it sizzling instead!
Making him do all the work. Are you lying there like a log all night? Have you been contended by just taking off your clothes and letting your man to the work? Initiate sex for a change. Moan, groan and let him know you're having a great time. Turning you on makes you man turned on so go ahead and let it show.
Being insecure of your body. Feeling too fat? You think you're not sexy enough? A woman who takes pride and is comfortable in her own skin will make you look more desirable --- men love their women who are confident for what they are.
Expecting him to read your mind. Let him know what you want --- tell him what's on your mind! Men are not mind readers so it's your responsibility to let him know about your wants and needs --- believe me, he'll be more than happy to comply.
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Are up for the challenge to know the hottest dirty talking tips and more on what to say to your man during sex? Discover more tips and techniques to attract men by visiting my website right now. It holds all amazing methods on how to do it all!

By Mark J. Hamilton

The Major Shocking Reason Why Women Love Bad Boys! Every Guy Should Know This

2009-07-13T09:49:00.000-07:00

By Rahul Talwar

It does not seem possible, but women do love the bad boy attitude that seems to make the guy sexier and more attractive. What is it about having this attitude that makes the woman drool and pant after you? Read the following and find out why bad guys seem to win in this dating world!
Girls seem to hate wimps and "momma's boys". The more you prove that you can't stand up for yourself, the more they will begin to hate the sight of you. These kinds of boys are usually "yes" men who don't seem to have a mind of their own. Girls like boys to be decisive and even assertive to a point.
The "bad" boy usually is not really bad inside, and the girls somehow sense that. They just seem bad because of the "rebellious look" they sport. Girls love it when they go out with a "bad" guy and feel that it proves that they are brave and daring to go out with them.
Bad guys have a distinctive style of dress that appeals to the girls. They are so obviously different from the usual guys they hang out with that they stand out and seem more attractive. The girls feel singled out and special if they are asked out by a bad boy. They feel that the bad boy attitude that is so 'naughty" is revolutionary and exciting.
Bad boys are not followers but leaders in a way and this excites the girls. The "don't care attitude" is appealing to them as opposed to the straight boring guy who is so predictable!
As mentioned before, the bad guy does not really have to be 'bad', because no sooner than the first attraction dies, the girls are going to be put off if you really have traits of dishonesty and selfishness lurking underneath. No leather jacket or Harley Davidson can actually hide your personality - let her find out that her "bad" boy is really a "good" one!

By Rahul Talwar

Why Most Men Love Curvy Women

2009-07-13T09:48:00.000-07:00

By Sandy Francis

In simple terms, men and women do not understand each other too well. It's a well known fact. Men like cars. Women like make up. Men drink a beer and watch sport, while women can sit and chat about shoes for hours. Generalisation of course. Profound apologies. However there is one area where we men are on solid ground. Men like 'curvy' women. When we say men, we mean ALL men. Women think that men like 'slim' women, and that 'curvy' means fat. Wow. For a man, talking to a woman about her body and it's shape is like digging your own grave with your tongue. There is no way we can say to our partners 'you have a great curvy body', because she will automatically think we mean she is fat! So we will attempt to explain 'curvy' to women, and set their minds at rest. Men are completely turned on by a woman's shape. Her shape. Not her size. Not her weight. It's all about the 'hour-glass' shape.
There are some very, very slim women who have even slimmer waists, and therefore fall into the category where their body has the beginnings of the hour glass shape. There are some women who are naturally curvy, like a Beyonce, Shakira, or J-Lo. And some women need a little dieting, or exercise to find that shape. Men of all ages love to admire an hour glass body. There is something so incredibly sexy about prominent breasts, a slim waist and rounded hips. And usually the side profile is even better, as most curvy women look as if they are trying to arch their backs, and stick their buttocks out. Awesome. That is what men mean by curvy.
As long as breasts, waist, and hips are all in proportion, dress size is irrelevant. The only people who are honestly interested in whether a woman is size 0 or 10, are other women. Men are only interested in the shape of a woman's body. Because the editors of women's magazines are so narrow minded that every single picture in their glossy pages has to represent perfection, normal women who religiously read these pages find faults with themselves. They don't like their hair. Its too dry or too greasy. They don't like their eyes. They can detect fine lines and wrinkles. They don't like their skin. Their hands are too veiny. Their shoulders too broad. Stomach too big. Breasts wrong shape. Legs too short. You get the idea. Who caused all this anxiety? Certainly not men! And ladies, if you take a look through the first few pages of your favourite magazine, the editorial staff is almost exclusively female.
So all the women we know are a little obsessed with being slim, or being the correct weight. None seem too concerned about their shape. Men want one thing. Women are trying to achieve something entirely different. Men want that slim waist. The rounded hips and buttocks. The shapely breasts. They want it all in proportion. But most men are prepared to love their woman, no matter what shape she is. If she were curvy as well as everything else, that really would put the icing on the cake. One great study in the USA was eye opening. The average American woman is 5'4" tall, and size 14. In terms of fashion, modelling, and Hollywood, that is a plus size. Yet, if you ask men "who is the sexiest woman ever?", Marilyn Monroe, who happened to be size 14, comes second to "my wife". Men really think that curvy is beautiful.

By Sandy Francis

Break Out of Bedroom Boredom With These Making Love Tips

2009-07-13T09:45:00.000-07:00

By Charlene Cassing

Remember back when we first got together with our spouse, girlfriend or partners, nothing could go wrong, and everything the other did was cute, including the bad habits, no making love tips needed. However things change quickly, and what used to be cute is now annoying, what used to be fun and exciting, has become boring, and rest assured, that a relationship on this path is most likely to fail. The divorce rate in the U.S. alone is about 50% of first marriages for men under age 45 may end in divorce, and between 44 and 52% of women's first marriages may end in divorce for these age groups.
The number one cause of relationship failures is financial problems, with the number two cause being boredom or loss of interest in sex. In this article we will discuss correcting the second most popular reason for breakups, and that is sex life boredom.
Let's take a small poll right now, and see where you fit in the scope of sexual relationships.
- Do you always have sex in the same place? - Do you always have sex in the same position or 2? - Do you always have sex around the same time? - Does the woman have an orgasm 75% of the time? - Do your lovemaking sessions ever last more than 30 minutes?
Routine in the bedroom results in boredom, Boredom in the bedroom results in lack of interest, Lack of interest results in relationship failures.
Is your relationship on this path? If so I plan on giving you some making love tips to break out of this rut.
The easiest thing to do, to break monotony in our love lives is have sex in a different place, how easy can it get? There are more rooms in your house than the bedroom, try making love in the shower with the water falling on your head, how about in the bathtub, or in the backyard, Use a tent if you live in a crowded neighborhood. Just by changing the place, will result in new excitement added back into your love life.
Try out some different positions, do you know the positions that give better access to women's g-spot? Do you even know where the woman's g spot is? There are positions that are great for guy's who are a little smaller than average, and positions that are good for guy's who are a bit on the larger size, chose ones that suit your situation. Painful sex is not enjoyable sex, and can quickly cause a loss of interest.
Did you know that the average woman takes 15-20 minutes of stimulation to achieve an orgasm, guy's take 3-5. This a large gap that has to be bridged, if you are not bridging this gap, your relationship will be turning for the worse. Women take a lot of foreplay while men do not, sex is 75% mental and 25% physical, learn to stimulate the mind before getting down to the physical.
This is just a small few steps that can improve situations in your love life 100%, but what if I was to tell you that you could take your sex life up a notch to new heights that you and your partner thought not possible. There is a collection of 500 tips and hints on every aspect of the sex life, compiled by a professional certified sex therapist. This could be the most important message you could ever receive. Are you brave enough? If your up for the challenge Click making Love Tips.

By Charlene Cassing

Behind all the issues that separate an ordinary relationship from a great one, is one common factor. Behind all the truly helpful advice on improving

2009-07-13T09:44:00.000-07:00

By Felecia Townsend

First, let's discuss three popular kinds of partnerships that people settle into while in a relationship. The first one is called the father/daughter relationship. In this kind of relationship, the man plays the role that you would normally see reserved for a parent. For example, the husband might decide that his wife will be paid an allowance as oppose to having equal access to their money.
In fact this man might go so far as to believe that it is his money that he is sharing with her and not theirs. Another example is the man who needs to control her social life and or network of friends. Much like a father, men can be very protective of their daughters.
Women, also, will fall into the role of a mother/son relationship. They will nick-pick their husbands to no end to get him to do and behave as they would have him. They cater to his needs and wants much like a real mother does for her dependent son. His clothes are washed and ironed, his meals are made for him, and the home operates around his mood.
The second type of relationship that couples adopt is the brother/sister relationship. This happens when you have two people who have just about everything in common besides physical desire and romance. Maybe they started off believing that they were love mates but over time have realized that they do better as friends. What little attraction that's left is nothing more than an appreciation of common interests.
The third type of relationship that partners imitate is the kind that is found within a healthy relationship between two healthy individuals who are not only soul mates but also good companions. This kind of partnership is referred to as the partner/partner relationship. Women and men within these types of relationships have their own identity. Their identity is not a threat to their partner nor does their partner see it necessary to control their expression.
They operate from a frame of reference where love and romance is a personal exploration between two aware individuals who have some pertinent things in common with a desire to share mutual emotional, physical, and spiritual experiences. This type of partner/partner relationship doesn't feed off the traditions of the past, how mom and dad behaved, or what one sees in the movies.
So, what kind of mate are you? Are you in a relationship where you're the daughter, the mother, or the sister? Are you emotionally and financially being handled by a man who is the father, the brother, or the son? Maybe you're none of these characters. Perhaps you're your own person and within a relationship you can call your own.

By Felecia Townsend

The #1 Secret of Great Relationships

2009-07-13T09:41:00.000-07:00

By Jonathan Huie

Behind all the issues that separate an ordinary relationship from a great one, is one common factor. Behind all the truly helpful advice on improving your life together, there lies one key to a great relationship.
Many different kinds of problems can cause a relationship to fall apart. Physical or emotional abuse, addictions, cheating, jealousy, and neediness are just a few of the issues that can destroy a relationship. But once the many potentially disastrous problems have been avoided, what have you got? Perhaps a relationship that qualifies only as "pretty good." But what creates a really great relationship?
At the beginning, we are in relationship because we are attracted to the other person - we think they are sexy, smart, funny, whatever it is that we find appealing. But very quickly, the focus of the relationship turns to whether we feel appreciated. If we don't feel appreciated, we don't feel loved.
It is common for those entering into a relationship to hold an idealized image of how a perfect partner is supposed to act. Perhaps a man is supposed to open car doors. Perhaps a woman is supposed to wear a certain kind of underwear. The internal dialog goes something like this, "Jim (or Sally) is a wonderful person and loves me. After we're together, he will change because he loves me so much. He will stop wanting to hang out with his friends, watch football games, whatever." How can anyone feel appreciated when their loved one is wishing or hoping for them to change.
The greatest roadblock to a great relationship is trying to force a partner to change through bribes or threats. This classic human tendency is lampooned in the long-running off-Broadway musical comedy "I Love You, You're Perfect, Now Change." It's funny to watch other people go through the cycle of searching for the perfect mate, believing they have found that person, and than gradually attempting to remold the supposedly perfect partner. Unfortunately, in real life, this pattern is a cause of immense suffering.
I Love You Just the Way You Are
The number one secret of a great relationship is accepting our partner EXACTLY as they are. We cause ourselves untold misery whenever we believe our loved ones to be imperfect and try to change them.
To create a great relationship, say and mean, "I love you just the way you are." No pretense. No hoping for change. No thought that it used to be better, or might get better. Follow through by living into that sentiment every day.
Falling into the trap of thinking, "I wish you were different" or "Please change." is no way to show your love. Happiness lies in this number one rule of great relationships: Love and accept your partner exactly the way they are.

By Jonathan Huie

How to Bring Romance Back Into Your Relationship

2009-07-13T09:35:00.000-07:00

By Andy Gibson

Every day romance adds to the affection and fun in a relationship. Romance should not be the exclusive pleasure you bestow on your spouse before marriage, it should be your raga throughout the life.
Marriages take up the wrong path if you make the mistake of taking your spouse for granted. So to be in high spirits throughout your married life, infuse a spark of romance into it and enjoy its warmth in your cozy relationship. Here are some ways to make the romance alive in your love life.
If you are working couples then chalk out the blue plan to send your spouse a huge flower bouquet, big enough to make your spouse blush in front of the colleagues. If an occasion is nearby such as birthday, anniversary, propose day, etc then you can send your spouse a small bunch of flowers throughout the day.
If you feel that flower bunches are too much for you then drop in letters and cards expressing your feelings. If you are poetic in nature then send you spouse beautiful poetries which express how much you have loved her throughout your relationship. When the office hours are about to end then send the last envelope inviting them for a lavish dinner in one of the best joints of the city followed by one of the best romantic movies which is being shown in town.
If you don't want to go for a movie then the beautiful candlelight dinner can be followed by a walk on the beach or river side or else a long drive. If you have meetings with the delegates that you must attend this weekend then surprise her by sending her to one of the best spa centers. After the meeting, the two of you can move to the seaside, remember to make arrangements of a night blanket and a rich wine bottle.
If you are going on a long vacation then the perfect idea of romance would be to present your spouse with romantic gifts throughout the vacation, arrange for one gift each day. You must decide where your loved one would like to go on a romantic break. You could maybe take them to Venice which is regarded as one of the best destinations in the world for couples who are looking for romance.
There are just so many places to visit and not all of them cost a lot of money. The key thing to do is to put some thought and effort into your travel plans. There is nothing better than a romantic break away from the hustle and bustle of modern day life.
Many couples send greetings cards to each other telling them how much that they love them. The thing to remember is that you must not take your partner for granted. By sending them regular gifts and also cards expressing your true love helps to keep relationships alive and fun. It is also fun and rewarding planning these romantic acts.

By Andy Gibson